We’ve all been there: There's the guy who swoops into your life unexpectedly, flashes a toothpaste commercial smile (Seriously, how does he get them so white?) and compliments the dress you splurged on at Urban.
He knows all of the right things to say, but you hardly know how to respond because you’re too busy drafting text messages to your girlfriends in your head.
You flirt casually for a while and then resist all urges to jump up and down when he throws out the should-vitation: “We should hang out.”
Your effortless, “Yeah, I’m down” is just a cover for “I AM DYING INSIDE.” You exchange numbers and spend an unhealthy amount of time analyzing his Instagram feed.
More times than not, he’s too good to be true. These are the red flags to watch out for when getting to know him and how to tell if all he wants is a hookup:
1. He talks about himself too much.
Nothing is more annoying than a guy who talks about himself and doesn’t make any effort to know you. If enough time goes by and you realize he hasn’t asked you anything personal, odds are, he doesn’t care.
Guys who are truly interested in you personally will try to learn as much as they can about you in order to find common ground.
If he wants more than sex with you, he will, without a doubt, know all of your favorite things and interests.
2. He takes advantage of you.
If every time you hang out, you’re driving to him, picking him up and scheduling your life around him, he is getting off too easily.
All effort should definitely be 50/50. Something is suspicious if whenever you invite him over to your apartment, he has an excuse.
Going far out of your way each time to see him is great if you actually want to, but he should be equally as psyched to see you, too.
3. He isn’t all “there” when you hang out.
A guy who texts and absently scrolls through apps on his phone the entire time you’re together is definitely not a keeper. You should never feel like you’re competing for his attention during promised one-on-one time.
You deserve more than someone who only pays attention to you when you’re naked.
4. You get the vibe he’s been there before.
There is a big difference between a meaningful relationship and holding a place as another notch on his belt (“I knew you were trouble when you walked innnnnn...”). Sound familiar?
The “player” type enjoys the chase; he wants you until he has you. If this is the case, then stay one step ahead and move on before you do something you may regret in the morning.
This isn't to say you can’t be friends, but valuing yourself as a catch, rather than a weekly score will make you much more appealing to the right guy — the guy who is perfectly happy watching Netflix and drinking wine with you.
It is important to be on the same page. If all you want is casual sex, then this may not be an issue for you. Go have fun and remember to 1) always wear the good bra, 2) be smart about it, and 3) stay true to yourself.
As long as you are doing what you know is best for you and looking for people who share your same values, dating will be way more enjoyable and definitely worth it. Also, for every bad date there is a hilarious story to tell at your next cocktail party.
