How do you classify being a “good guy?”
Well, the term "good" is rather subjective as its meaning varies depending on the individual. For example, are you good for participating in a certain faith?
Are you good for pursuing a career to help the less fortunate? Are you good for always saying please and thank you, like your grandmother always told you to?
Likewise, are you a terrible person for not tipping your waitress that one time you only had enough for the meal, or forgetting your mother’s birthday until the day of, or accidentally spilling coffee on a stranger?
Search for characteristics of how a man should act and you’ll find countless articles detailing every personality trait possible that determines what a man could and should be. Features like kind, respectful, honest, confident, well-mannered, etc., are shared, but these qualities would honestly qualify any man to be a good guy, right?
Is there such a division among men to differentiate the good guys from the bad guys? Well, reality isn’t a comic book; some heroes aren’t that great and the villains aren’t always so cruel.
So, how can I tell if I am good, the hero to my story, the protagonist to my plot? Well, in my opinion, emphasis on my, the number one quality for measuring your potential is your social awareness, which can be further divided into four main categories:
Expectations
If you’re a nice guy, do you have to consistently proclaim of how much of a nice guy you are?
It comes from a sense of entitlement that just because you are friendly and pleasant, you deserve some sort of award. Being genuinely good means you don’t seek gratification; it’s simply just one of the many personality attributes that makes you who you are.
Entitlement
If you want a relationship or sex and whatever comes in between, but the other person doesn’t, then don’t be the person's friend.
Many guys out there talk about the friend zone, which is honestly such a bullsh*t ideology. If you’ve been friends with this person for some time and your romantic gestures aren’t accepted, don’t claim you’ve been friend-zoned. Accept that the feelings between you and the other person weren’t mutual.
Don’t become someone’s friend because of the slight chance you can get something more. It’s disrespectful not only to the other person, but also to you. You deserve someone who wants the same things as you do; it’s just common sense.
So, PSA to all the dudes out there: You are bound to find someone special, or that one-night hookup, but regardless of what you want, just make sure it’s mutual.
Pride
Don’t boast about your accomplishments; rather, be proud of them. Broadcasting all the great and amazing things you’ve done — like helping out this shelter or that retirement home — takes away from the significance.
If you enjoy giving back to your community, do it for your own satisfaction, not as a personal résumé booster.
Speech
Focus on your language and your general social standing. How do you act by yourself, as well in the presence of others? Do you misuse words like "bitch" or "slut" or "retarded" just to degrade others?
Our generation has made it a trend to describe something stupid as “so gay,” and it’s so commonplace in our speech, we’ve become unaware of the meanings behind certain words. Maybe you still say hurtful words like these or some other variation, but are you actively working to change it?
One of the main components of being a good -- no, great -- guy is progression. Are you actively improving yourself, becoming aware of your surroundings and changing parts of yourself you aren’t necessarily proud of? We are human beings; we are designed to be perfectly imperfect.
Sure, you may have bullied some kids on the playground in elementary school, or yelled at your parents that one time in high school, and maybe even gossiped behind a friend’s back; that doesn’t necessarily mean you are some despicable, unforgivable monster
But, if you look back at what you could have changed in your life, are you using it as inspiration to better yourself and those around you?
I’m not the greatest person out there; I forget my friends’ birthdays, sometimes take the last slice of pizza and may have stepped on my neighbor’s pet once twice. But, some days, I do think I may be a good guy, like today, when I didn’t flip off the driver who cut me off at the intersection.
So, what makes you a good guy? Is there a simple answer to this seemingly simple question? Well, that ultimately all depends on you and your actions. Are you proud of who you are and who you plan to become? I can’t answer that. In fact, no one else can answer it but you.
