They say men are from Mars and women are from Venus. If this is in fact the case, then why hasn't someone taken the initiative to organize a gathering somewhere on neutral ground where we can have a few drinks and dispel a few of the most confounding myths that keep the two sexes so damn divided?
If I had a dollar for every time I heard a girlfriend say, “I will never understand men,” I would be able to fund this gathering myself, go on a round-the-world trip via business class and still have cash to splash. But sadly, the only thing I get in return is an even more skewed perception of the inner workings of the male mind.
But it's not entirely their fault. It's about high time we women took the high road and accepted a bit of the responsibility. It takes two to tango, after all.
So, in an effort to bridge the almighty gap that only seems to be getting bigger each misconstrued message at a time, I'm getting this party started with some real talk. I'm coming clean about the three things men think women care about, but we really don't:
1. A Boyfriend With The Perfect Body
Despite what movies would have you to believe, a woman's ultimate goal in life isn't to lock down a Channing Tatum circa "Magic Mike" stunt double. In fact, truth be told, there's something enigmatically sexy about a man who unashamedly flaunts a dad bod.
In the same way you don't expect us to look like we fell off the Victoria's Secret runway, we don't expect you to harbor a set of abs that are so chiseled, you could grate cheese on them. We sure as hell don't place a huge amount of emphasis on how much you can bench press, or the #gains you made this week.
So, what do we care about? All we need is for you to have confidence, both in your body and in yourself. That's something no amount of lifting or creatine can create.
Trust us, the only people those bros are fooling with their incessant grunting and unnerving staring are themselves.
2. How Much You Earn
This is perhaps the biggest and most outdated misconception out there. The idea that a man needs to bank roll a woman in order for her to find him attractive is as ridiculous as Solange Knowles' not-so-mellow yellow Met Gala ensemble. We're grown ups, and we earn our own money. We can happily fund our own lifestyles.
We just care that you're genuinely passionate about what you do, whatever it may be. Heck, we don't care if you're out there knitting scarves for worms, as long as you do it with decent dose of drive and motivation.
3. Constantly Being Wined And Dined
While I will admit that being taken to a restaurant that boasts dim lighting and drool-worthy desserts – aka the kind of place that warrants tummy control shapewear – is fun from time to time, it's not the standard women live by.
Dating is about getting to know the other person. To be totally honest, that can be hard to do when you're trying to play "adult" in a fancy restaurant. Taking a unique and creative approach will score you way more brownie points than frog legs and fromage. Plus, you'll undoubtedly have way more fun.
It's win-win. What's more, if you're genuinely vibing, it won't matter if you're swigging beer from a brown paper bag or sipping on Bollinger in a well-to-do bar. Chemistry and connection can only be felt. You can't fake that.
So guys, the ball is officially in your court. Toss it. I dare you.