22 Ridiculous Questions People In LDRs Are Sick Of Being Asked
While going through my long-distance relationship, I noticed my boyfriend and I had incredibly different experiences of how the people around us reacted.
His family was supportive of his decision; his friends listened to him and understood his thought process. Of course, he’d always get the old, “Dude, you’re wasting your life! Go bang as many girls as you can!” reaction, but I think that was the worst he got.
I don’t know if it’s because I’m a girl, or maybe it’s my passive personality, but people gave me a really hard time about it. Of course, some people were genuinely kind, and many of my friends were supportive, but a lot of them weren’t and put in no effort to listen and understand my side of the story.
Either way, the following questions were said by well-meaning, but ignorant friends, family members trying to give advice or drunk guys at a bar who think it’s a game to lower your self-esteem enough to get in your pants.
Now, I've comprised 22 annoying questions I was asked and paired them with all the things I wish I would have said. If your friend is in a long-distance relationship, she’s probably having enough of her own issues, fights and self-loathing to go around. She really doesn’t need anymore crap from you.
1. “Shouldn’t you be crying alone in your room every night?”
Your response: Absolutely not. I know it’s crazy, but I have more to live for than seeing my boyfriend every day... like Nutella.
2. “When are you two finally going to get married?”
Your response: We don’t even live in the same country... and also, it’s none of your business.
3. “Do you even have a plan to be together?”
Your response: Nope, not a freaking clue, and seeing as I can barely remember to buy my vibrator new batteries, I don’t think it’s coming together anytime soon.
4. “You really think your relationship will work out?”
Your response: GTFO.
5. “It doesn’t seem like you miss him.”
Your response: Of course not while I'm, drunk, guy at a party. Oddly enough, we both have our own lives, like right now, as I walk away from you. See that? I’m living.
6. “So it’s pretty serious if it’s long distance, then?”
Your response: I don’t know, dude, but what’s it to you? Let me eat my hamburger in peace.
7. “Doesn’t it seem like you’re not even in a real relationship?”
Your response: I don’t know what this means. Last night I definitely had a real relationship with my pizza, but my friends tell me it doesn’t count. Guess I’m too dumb to understand this “real relationship” thing.
8. “So when are you guys finally going to be together?”
Your response: When are you finally going to stop acting like a jerk?
9. “You know he’s probably cheating on you, right?”
Your response: GTFO.
10. “How can anything ever be worth that pain?”
Your response: Pain? Have I been dismembered? Beheaded? Nope. I don’t even have a paper cut. The only pain I feel is the headache I have from interacting with you.
11. “You need to get married before you’re too old.”
Your response: I never get this question. You’re old and married, and what good has it done for you, dad?
12. “You need to be sure he’s the one when it’s long distance.”
Your response: Really? Is there some LDR rulebook I’m missing out on? Do share it if you have it.
13. “He’s not here; he’ll never know if we make out right now.”
Your response: GTFO.
14. “So you really think it’s going to work out?”
Your response: Between you and I? Nope. Never.
15. “Don’t you guys fight all the time?”
Your response: Nope. It’s funny; I fight more with idiots like you than with the guy I like. Weird.
16. “Oh, I’m so sorry. That’s terrible!”
Your response: This is often said to me as if I told them my boyfriend has a terminal illness. It’s just long distance, so let’s all take a deep breath.
17. “Wow, but you know it’s never going to work out, right?”
Your response: Wow, but you know you have no manners, right?
18. “You need to be realistic about your future.”
Your response: Thanks, dad! Just like I need to be realistic about taking advice from you.
19. “But you’re so pretty! You can’t find anyone closer?”
Your response: No, all the dumbasses close to me can’t seem to locate the US on a map.
20. “Aren’t you sad all the time?”
Your response: Not really, and when I am, I watch "Breaking Bad" and realize I’ll never be as f*cked up as Walter White. Then I’m happy again.
21. “So did you guys break up yet?”
Your response: GTFO.
22. “You’re too young for a serious relationship.”
Your response: Oh crap, really? Didn’t know there was an age limit on this thing. I’ll return it right away. You know if I can get a refund?
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