Caleb Thal

10 Ways A New Relationship Inevitably Changes You


You can insist all you want that you're going to be exactly the same once you're dating again -- Sunday brunch with the girls? Of course! Clubbing on Friday night? Why not?

But you know that's all a lie. Any time you add a major new element to your life, things are going to change. It's the inevitable, you start to plan your life around whatever new element has been added to it.

Here are the reasons why a relationship will a change you:

1. You have less time to spread around.

It's a simple fact: there are only so many hours in the day. If you add a new person to the mix, there's less time for everything, and everyone, else.

You're going to want to spend more time with your SO and as a result less time with your friends, less time on yourself and less time getting things done.

2. You no longer have as much time to focus on yourself.

Maybe you've gotten into some really awesome routines while single, but some of that will fall by the wayside. Hopefully you don't lose sight of your goals, and plans, just because you have someone else around now.

3. You can't be unabashedly selfish.

It's not just about you anymore. You have a partner, and you have to consider their needs and feelings.

Gone are the days of always doing what you want, when you want, exactly how you want. It's just not feasible when you're with someone. Sorry.

4. You have to compromise.

Sure, you already compromise with friends and family, but it's not the same. You'll be spending a lot of time with your SO, and you won't always get to do what you want.

You're going to have to engage in some activities that don't interest you to make them happy; you're also going to have to meet in the middle on a lot of decisions. You'll have to agree to disagree. Adulting, right?

5. It forces you out of your comfort zone.

It's really easy to get super comfortable being single.

When you're in a new relationship, you're learning all about another person. You have to open up and show vulnerability, while accepting the same from them with kindness and compassion. It's a whole new, scary world.

6. You soften.

A relationship can also change you for the better. When you're completely accepted by another person, and loved by that person regardless, it allows you the freedom to be exactly who you are.

You can be kind, tender and vulnerable without any fear; you're full of joy, and you want to share it. This new attitude can affect your interactions with the world in a positive way.

7. Your attitude toward life shifts.

It might be a subtle change, or it might be dramatic. Either way, it's definitely not exactly the same as it was before your SO entered your life.

Maybe they made you realize that you want things you never knew you needed until they came along. Maybe your general attitude is more positive, or maybe you started placing more importance on your relationships with others that you care about.

There are a myriad of possibilities.

8. You have to consider the needs of a partner.

Before it was all about you, you, you. Now, it's about the two of you.

You're still independent beings, obviously, but there are going to be many decisions you have to make as a team. You can no longer do everything without thinking, you have to consider what's going to work best for the both of you.

9. You can't make decisions without communicating with him.

You have to be considerate. Yeah, you're used to going out until whatever hour you want, or playing music into the wee hours of the morning. You buy what you want, when you want.

Now, you have someone you need to consult on home decor, someone who you should call if you're going to be out all night and someone who might not be able to sleep with music on.

Hopefully, you love them so much that you're excited to make all these compromises on their behalf.

10. You have to make sure you don't neglect your tribe.

These are the people who have been there for you before you met your SO. It's easy to get wrapped up in new, exciting love, but don't let your steadfast friendships suffer.

The most annoying thing in the world is a friend who disappears when they're dating someone. It's going to take effort, but your friends should be worth it. Don't lose them.


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