Why The Number Of People You’ve Had Sex With Actually Does Matter


On social media, the constant flow of girl power posts enforces the idea that women can do whatever the f*ck they want.

When we talk about women's sex numbers, however, things get a little less Beyoncé-approved.

Since the '60s, sexual liberation has seen an upturn in popularity. The stigma around sex is waning and very few people have the gumption to ask a woman how many partners she's had.

Full disclosure: I'm 27, and I can tally the number of my sexual partners on two hands. After a few more conquests, I'll have to start counting with my pinky toe.

People I tell claim not to care, but I certainly do.

If our sex numbers didn't matter, we wouldn't have so many controversial ideas surrounding it.

Your sex number doesn't mean you're promiscuous, but it does say a bit about who you are.

Women either flee from the reality of their sex number or exercise their right not to share it. The latter is probably due to unwanted judgement from sexist pigs.

Once someone adds up the digits of your love life, they will infer things about you. It's not always negative, but it can be.

Hear me out.

I champion getting an optimal orgasm by any means necessary. A woman's vagina belongs to her and she's free to do whatever she will with it.

High body counts don't signify promiscuity.

To the sophisticated partner, a high number could imply a troubled childhood, escapism or even depression. Some women silently carry a low count for the same reasons.

On the contrary, if a friend tells me she's slept with a few more than five guys this month I can conclude she's a free spirit. No harm, no foul.

Whether low or high, sex numbers say a lot about your relationship with sex.

Your sex number is significant to you, even if no one else cares.

For me, sex carries a weighty importance. Now that I'm a little older, I fancy a committed relationship over a one-night stand.

I'm not being melodramatic here. I'd just prefer not to casually increase my sex count for someone I can't fathom having a relationship with.

Some would argue your 20s are a free-for-all. Explore! Experiment! Experience!

By all means, do just that. Enjoy every sexual encounter as much as Drake enjoys his turtleneck.

However, be well aware that every time you give your body to someone, they have a piece of you forever.

That's a fact, even if no one is judging you for it.

Some women are Samantha and others women are Charlotte. That's just the way life goes.

"Sex and the City" will always be a single girl's moral compass.

Whether you're sleeping with the same partner multiple times like Charlotte or screwing a bunch of randos from Tinder like a modern-day Samantha, sexual habits say something about you.

Even if you don't want to think about it, it matters where you stand on the omnipresent scale of sexuality. I know, what a very Carrie Bradshaw thing to say.

It's fine to have a DGAF attitude toward your number of partners, but you're human.

You know your number, even if it's just a ballpark range. And you care about it.