Simone Anne

Why I'm Never Having Children, Despite Society's Expectations

Ad failed to load

Like most little girls, I always imagined growing up, getting married and starting a family.

At a young age, I became infatuated with wedding dresses. I picked out first and middle names for my hypothetical kids and even decided on the ages when I would get married and then pregnant.

It's ingrained in young girls from the very beginning that those are the biggest, most important milestones in life.

Ad failed to load

As I grew older, my career, sanity and happiness began to be more important than finding someone to marry and have kids with. But the frustrating thing is, the rest of the world has expectations for me already.

I am officially at the age where those milestones should be in my near future. I am asked about my plans for marriage and kids regularly, as if I have no choice but to go through with these experiences. But why?

Ad failed to load

I was once at dinner with a group of people who were twice my age and they asked me about kids. They made a comment about how I'm getting close to the age when I should get pregnant.

I told them I wasn't sure if I wanted kids, that it wasn't a priority to me and that I would be perfectly content without them.

Ad failed to load

“Trust me,” someone said, “you'll change your mind.” I stared, perplexed.

Every time I voice how I feel, I get the same reaction. People have a hard time grasping why someone might choose to not have children, why they might choose to focus on their marriage, career and experiences instead of committing to raising another human being.

I'm always told I'll change my mind, as if it's a horrible thing to waste my ovaries as a female.

Ad failed to load

Aren't there enough expectations put on women?

Every single day as a female, I feel pressure to look and act a certain way. I am in an endless internal battle with myself to feel at peace with who I am and what I look like compared to what I see around me.

Ad failed to load

I have to constantly remind myself that I'm good enough, smart enough and attractive enough, even though I don't compare to women flooding television, movies and social media.

So, why, on top of those standards (that I have to ignore for my own sanity), am I told I must get married and have children? Not only am I expected to have them, but I'm expected to do it sooner rather than than later.

I am told my job won't be as important as my husband's, that if anyone stays at home with the kids, it will be me.

Ad failed to load

I am told that if I don't become a mother, my life will be incomplete.

Some of my reluctance comes from the fact that I don't think I'm strong enough to handle my child's pain on top of my own. The moment I see them hurt or beaten down by life, I will regret bringing them into this world.

My sister is about to get married and have the wedding of her dreams with the man she is in love with. They are planning to have kids soon after.

Ad failed to load

I will be an aunt, and I know I will love every minute of it. I absolutely adore children, but I am more excited to fill the role of an aunt than mom. I promised to be there as much as possible in order to help them learn and grow.

And that is enough for me. It's enough to have children related to me by blood, kids who I know I will love completely and unconditionally, who I will watch grow up -- yet never be wholly responsible for.

Ad failed to load

I am content focusing on my writing until I'm a best-selling author, focusing on my career until I get my dream job. I want to focus on climbing the ladder until at last, I'm financially comfortable and able to see the world at my leisure.

Those are my goals now, and they are much more important to me than bringing a child into this world that I don't even know I want.

Maybe one day I'll have a change of heart about having children and suddenly desire them. But I'm not going to risk my happiness just because my parents and in-laws want grandchildren.

Ad failed to load

I'm not going to do something that makes me sad, uncomfortable and scared because my family, friends and society expect me to. I will only have kids it if it will make me happy.

**Originally published on Unwritten.

Ad failed to load

Must Reads

These 3 Zodiac Signs Will Have The Worst Mercury Retrograde, But Here's How To Deal

Starting on Mar. 23, 2018, the dreaded Mercury retrograde will permeate our world with confusion. If you don't know what this astrological buzzword means, it's when Mercury appears to be rolling back in its orbit around the sun. Since this planet rul…
By Roya Backlund

7 Women On The One Thing That Finally Made Them Feel Like An Adult After College

How does one "adult?" From the minute second semester hits senior year and they hand you your diploma at graduation, you're wondering just what the real world is going to be like. You started applying for jobs and scoping out cute apartments with you…
By Marisa Casciano

The Perfect Festival Look For You, Based On Your Zodiac Sign

It's officially spring, but the only season that's really on my radar is festival season. April showers bring May flowers, and it's a good thing because I need all the daisies in the world for oh-so-chic and classic crowns. You've scrolled through th…
By Marisa Casciano

Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix In April

Another month, another batch of new shows and movies to binge on Netflix. The streaming service just released its full list of the iconic favorites and new originals that will be showing up in your Netflix queue in about a week and a half, and it als…
By Dylan Kickham

Why It's Totally OK To Not Have A Game Plan In Your 20s & Just Wing It

One of the worst questions you are faced with in your 20s is: What is your 10-year plan? It's like people expect you to hand over a detailed map of your destiny when you reach a new decade in your life, and want you to be able to elaborate your coord…
By Jasmine Vaughn-Hall

These 10 Dreamy Travel Quotes Are Perfect Tattoos For The Girl With Wanderlust

Travelers are curious, wild, and free. They're always in pursuit of the next big adventure and they never fail to share the value of discovering the unknown. However, sometimes life gets the best of us. Sometimes, our greatest passions get pushed to …
By Ciara Johnson

I Rejected The Idea Of "The One" & Found A Whole New Method Of Self-Care

After my third date with a guy I met by swiping right, I had one question burned into my brain before I agreed to a fourth. Was he the one? Now, before you call me a total stalker, hear me out. In New York City, third dates were rare. I'm talking blo…
By Brittany Leitner

I Tried A Laughter Yoga Class & I Nearly Peed My Pants From Giggling So Hard

There's nothing funny about yoga, except for the fact that, if you look at yourself in the mirror while your body twists like a giant pretzel you'd nibble on at a baseball game, you do look kind of funny. Well, actually, you look a little like you're…
By Jen Glantz

12 Dreamy Travel Goals To Shoot For Before Hitting 30, Because Why Not?

Your 20s is a time to find yourself, try new things, meet new people, and see the world. It's a time when you're still figuring this whole life thing out. Your 20s can be tough, but they can still be whole lot of fun. It seems like you're on a never-…
By Ciara Johnson

Experts Say Doing This One Thing In The Morning Will Make You Way More Productive

I don’t know about you, but I don’t initially wake up in the morning feeling like P-Diddy; that whole “up and at ‘em” mindset takes work on weekdays. I will say, however, that I am a morning person by nature, and fully believe in the benefits of stic…
By Julia Guerra

A Psychic Read My Crystals & Said I'd Die Alone, But Then Everything Changed

I love my girlfriend for many reasons. She's the most amazing person I've ever met. She makes me feel safe. She screams the soundtrack to Dear Evan Hansen with me when we're riding in her car. But TBH, one of the main reasons I love her so much is th…
By Theresa Massony

This Instagram Star's Famous Lip Art Actually Has An Incredible Emotional Backstory

In a post-Kardashian world, every millennial thinks they have what it takes to go viral, but few consider what that online fame actually looks like in a person's daily life. In Elite Daily's new series, Life Behind The Likes, we speak with the people…
By Lilli Petersen

A New 'This Is Us' Theory Claims It's All Happening Inside Jack's Head & OMG

Ever since This is Us revealed how Jack died in their post-Super Bowl episode (damn you, Crock Pot) fans have been desperate to know where the show is headed — and if there are any other major twists they should be prepared for. The Season 2 finale i…
By Claire Spellberg

If You're Broke In Your 20s, You're Doing Something Right

It can be pretty disheartening when you're broke AF in your 20s. The silver lining in that constant struggle with currency is that you are doing what you want during this time of your life. Money isn't everything, and creatively and memorably using w…
By Jasmine Vaughn-Hall

How You'll Be Proposed To, Based On Your Zodiac Sign

Forever and always starts with getting down on one knee. Wedding season is right around the corner, and with it comes a lot of love stories. When you're watching the two do their first dance, or looking through old pictures, you remember where it all…
By Marisa Casciano

Gen Z Yellow Is The New Millennial Pink, So I Tried Wearing It All Over My Face

A few months ago, everything from makeup to clothes and even home appliances simply needed to be Millennial Pink. Being a millennial myself, I totally bought into the color craze, but there's a new hue (one that technically doesn't represent me at al…
By Stephanie Montes

These Theories About What Khloé Kardashian Will Name Her Baby Are So, So Good

The Kardashian family's future is most certainly female. The world was overjoyed when Kim K introduced us to her daughter, Chicago. We cried tears of joy when we found out that Kylie was in fact pregnant all along and had a baby girl named Stormi. An…
By Karen Ruffini

This Pup Is Going Viral Because People Think He Looks Like A Human

We all know our pups at home are beyond special. If you post pictures of your pet on social media in hopes that everyone notices just how cute your furry friend is, you're really not alone. You probably receive a bunch of comments with people gushing…
By Rachel Chapman

This Is What Staring At Screens All Day Could Do To Your Eyes In The Long Run

By now, you’ve probably heard all about how bad the glaring blue light from your smartphone and computer screen is for your sleep cycle. These claims are true, BTW, which means if technology has the power to creep inside your brain and mess with your…
By Julia Guerra

These 3 Zodiac Signs Burn Through Relationships The Fastest

It's hard enough to find love in this dog-eat-dog world. You write the perfect bio for your Tinder profile, dress to impress, go on dates with strangers that your friends set you up with, even fork over thousands of dollars to a professional matchmak…
By Roya Backlund

6 Things No One Tells You About Moving In With Your Partner That You Need To Know

If you’ve reached the point in your relationship where you find yourselves spending most of your time together — either at their place or yours — there’s a pretty big chance you’ve thought about living together. Taking this next step in your relation…
By Tayi Sanusi