Waxing is something all women love to complain about. (And if you are not one of these women, you better hop onboard real quick.) But as much as we bitch and moan, we really don't know where we would be without it.
Actually we do: hairy, depressed and definitely alone. But thanks to our waxer, aka our BFF, we are looking spiffy, fresh and ready to take on the world.
But how do our waxers parallel our closest friendships? Let me count the ways...
1. She gets all up and personal with your lady bits.
Need we elaborate any further?
2. She isn't afraid to be honest with you.
If you ask her what her opinion of your upper lip is, you better be prepared for some brutal honesty. And, ladies, remember it's always better to be safe than sorry with this area because no matter how close you are with your friends, none of them know the right way to tell you you're rocking a mustache.
3. She knows all about your sex life and schedule.
She helps you plan out your monthly Brazilians so they work out in your favor. There is nothing worse than heading into the weekend fully aware that you won't be getting any due to grooming issues.
4. She knows about your lack of a love life, too.
Hmm, you haven't come in for your monthly maintenance? It just means one thing: You are now celibate.
5. She doesn't judge you.
Your waxer has seen it all; let's be honest, whatever issue you have pales in comparison to the stuff she's seen before. Don't worry, there is always going to be someone worse off than you, so when you are chilling in the butterfly position, just remind yourself of that.
6. You spend an ample amount of time with her.
Different body parts constitute different periods of time, so there's a solid chance you will be hanging with your waxer on a weekly basis. It may (read: it will definitely) drain your bank account, but hey, at least it keeps you fresh.
7. It doesn't matter how long it's been, it always feels as if no time has passed.
"How the f*ck am I already back on this table? I feel like I was just here yesterday. Hmm, maybe that was three weeks ago? Ugh."
8. You can tell and show her anything and it remains private.
This takes patient-client confidentiality to a whole new extreme — and thank God for that.
9. She is forced to listen to you rant.
When you're nervous, it's only natural to experience word vomit, something your waxer is probably more than familiar with. I mean, how else are you supposed to distract yourself while she is yanking at your most sensitive parts?
10. She accepts you just the way you are.
It doesn't matter what your situation looks like, she's there to help you. This is most definitely a judgment-free zone — and thank God for that because you're already at your most vulnerable.
11. She lies to you when you need it the most.
"Oh, this won't hurt a bit, you've been exfoliating and waxing regularly..."
12. She encourages you to take deep breaths to relax.
How else does a good friend encourage you to chill out? Just take a deep breath, and it'll be over before you know it.
13. She only has the best intentions.
Despite the fact that it f*cking kills you to visit her, she really has no intention of hurting you. In fact, that is completely the opposite of what she's doing, if you really think about it.
14. She helps you get laid.
And isn't that just the greatest part of the entire thing?
15. She never cancels on you.
You can book in advance and be 100-percent confident your appointment will be honored. Honestly, this is a lot more than you can even expect from your regular friends.
16. She is always there when you need her.
Even at the last minute, she still finds room to squeeze you in!
17. She doesn't take your outbursts personally.
It's all part of the job and it definitely isn't something she hasn't already heard before. It's OK, just don't yell any personal attacks out on her.
On the upside, your colorful language is most definitely appreciated in this setting.
Photo Courtesy: We Heart It