It’s almost that time of the month again. Ugh, how did it come up so soon? Has it really been a month since last time? Guess it’s time to break out the emergency chocolate and snuggle up to watch a good chick flick.
Every girl out there reading this knows what I’m talking about. It’s Mother Nature, and she’s back. With her, she’s brought a bad case of PMS.
There is some debate about whether or not PMS is a real condition, but many females insist that it is. Here are 12 things that go through a woman's mind when she's experiencing the agony that is premenstrual syndrome:
1. I want chocolate.
...Or any food for that matter. Bring me chips. Bring me a burrito. Bring me pickles. Wait… am I PMSing, or am I pregnant? Whatever. Calories don’t count during this time of the month; I deserve them.
2. I’m bloated.
Forget all the chocolate and chips I just ate. I’m bloated and it’s definitely not from the food. It’s because I’m PMSing, I can feel it. I’m never eating again, and I’m not putting on anything that even vaguely resembles skinny jeans.
3. I just want to sleep.
I’m tired and too bloated to dress up and go out, anyway. Can’t I just cuddle with my Snuggie in peace and wait for this all to end?
4. I hate everyone.
Don’t talk to me; don’t look at me and definitely don’t touch me. Everything you say is annoying, and I might yell soon. Everyone, be gone; I don’t want you to see me like this.
5. Is PMS real or am I just being a bitch?
Maybe PMS is all in my head and I’m actually just using it as an excuse to be bitchy. Oh well, if the excuse works, I’m using it. Is that wrong?
6. I want to have sex.
Why is it that the one time during the month I can’t have sex is when I want to the most? Seriously, is this evolution’s way of telling me I’m fertile? It’s cruel.
7. Being a girl sucks.
We have periods. We PMS; we give birth. Vaginas suck, and boys will never understand. They have it so easy. They never have to wear high heels, and they can pee standing up. It's not fair.
8. Where did that pimple come from?
I swear that wasn't there yesterday. I know they say not to pop them, but I'm going to anyway. Where is my face mask?
9. I’m glad my roommates are synced with me.
If I’m going to be miserable, at least my roomies will be, too. We can all be miserable together, and maybe I will even share my chocolate with them. Maybe.
10. This is the most emotion I’ve ever experienced at one time.
Is it just me or is this romantic comedy not only heartbreaking, but also beautiful, devastating and hilarious? Is that even possible? I’m just not sure if I want to laugh or cry.
11. I still hate everyone.
Please refer to number four.
12. How many more days until this is over?
Let me check my birth control pack, my calendar and my period tracker on my phone to count down the exact days that are left until I’m back to normal.
So, yes, there is a debate about the scientific legitimacy of PMS, but hormones are crazy things that have a scary and powerful influence over our emotions. So, guys, if your girlfriend or wife is having a rough day and blames it on that time of the month, you’re better off to just let it slide.
Ladies, just because your uterus is about to undergo its monthly remodeling, you don’t have to let PMS take control. PMS isn’t a free pass to be a bitch; things you say and do during that week can have repercussions that last even longer.
Take control of your body and your emotions and have a piece of chocolate if you need to.
Photo Courtesy: We Heart It