Society says it's unhealthy. Women are trying to shame it. FLOTUS is trying to remedy it with "Let's Move!"campaigns.... I know I'm supposed to hate it, but I love a good “dadbod."
Despite its controversial attributes, the dadbod (AKA the body type of a man who has a mild beer belly and a so-so relationship with the gym) has always been attractive to me and to many other girls who want to be with a real person, not a Calvin Klein ad.
Even though we know it means they're lazy beer guzzlers, some of us just can't help but love the soft pudgy frame of a man with a secure belly.
Long before the now-famous Mackenzie Pearson essay debuted, before Leo rediscovered carbs and couches, before Jason Segal was considered hot, I was in college resting my head on a glorious mound of fleshy midsection, thinking how nice it is to have a man who not only makes me feel comfortable emotionally but also physically.
He was a great body pillow for all those late nights in a freshman twin XL bunk bed.
Since then, my obsession with a dadbod has only grown -- even spreading to my other girlfriends who now want boyfriends who can hug-and-chug, not carve-and-starve.
Because a dadbod is welcoming and full on life. It won’t flatten your self-esteem when it takes its shirt off for the first time.
It won’t tell you to sacrifice the party for the gym. It embraces you with open, weak arms and extra-comfy padding. And that sounds a lot better than hitting the pavement.
It’s sexy because it’s authentic -- there are no two dadbods that look exactly the same. It tells a story that doesn’t start and end with working out.
We women love dadbods not for what they can be but for what they are.
We’re not “chubby chasers.” We’re not big-boned whatevers. We’re women who can appreciate a man who makes us feel safe and secure with not only his words but also his entire physical being.
When you need a shoulder to cry on, he’s got a little extra. When you need a helping hand, he’s got a wider hold.
Here’s why women love dadbods:
1. You don’t feel the need to compete with him
Dating a dude with a dadbod takes the pressure off having to maintain your own.
You don’t have this complex like, “Oh no, I ate four cookies while he went to play pickup basketball. I should really move my ass if I want to keep up.”
You’re on the same team, and you’re working with each other, not against.
2. It makes you feel better about yourself
You don’t have to feel self-conscious that there’s a clear “hot one” of the couple, and it’s not you.
If you’re having an “eat day” in which you consume everything in sight -- like your open pantry is an open bar -- you won’t have to guilt trip yourself afterwards by comparing your diet to your boy toy’s.
You can live your life the way you want without the fear that your partner is doing it better.
3. He won’t complain about your lack of tits
Because he has his own.
It’s a win-win, really. You’ve always wanted boobs too.
4. You won’t be worried that he’s going to cheat on you with someone hotter
Unless the word about dadbods has really gotten out, or this super-hot girl is super insecure, the chances that he ends up with someone exponentially sexier than you are pretty low. His dadbod is a literal security blanket.
5. It’s way more fun to cuddle with
Who wants to snuggle up against a cheese grater? Just like an actual dadbod, you feel warm and mushy inside.
6. He’ll never body shame you
A dadbod takes body insecurities out of a relationship and evens the playing field.
He’ll never complain that your body has “gone soft” or suggest having fruit smoothies when you really want a milkshake.
He won’t make harsh remarks about your shape because he’s got his own.
7. He knows how to have fun
He lets both his pants and his personality loose. A man with a dadbod doesn’t get caught up in counting calories or restrict himself from indulging in life.
He knows how to eat, drink and live without worrying about it later.
8. You both aren’t superficial
He isn’t obsessed with his own appearance or yours or even other people’s. He focuses on what matters.
You can change your weight, but you can’t change your personality.
9. It’s always a surprise when he gets naked
You never know what to expect when he takes his shirt off, which makes intimacy more thrilling, sexy and exciting.
Rather than accurately anticipating what he’s going to look and feel like, you’re pleasantly surprised every time.
10. You have something to hold onto
Especially during sex, it’s nice to feel the weight of a man on top of you. If you wanted something light and easy, you’d f*ck Casper. It might sound trite, but dadbods give you more to love.
11. You know what he’ll look like in 20 years
That’s the wonderful thing about a dadbod -- it’s the kind of body he’ll still have when he’s a dad. No surprises.
You know exactly what you are getting and ending up with. And even better, you already know you love it.
When he’s older, he still won’t look a day over how he looks now.
12. You can talk about something other than diet and fitness
You and a dadbod have much more in common than just your gym and nutrition routines. You can have fun together without worrying about what you’re eating or drinking.
And you never have to do couple stuff like running and lifting together. He respects that you go at your own pace.
13. He fills out a suit nicely
A man in a suit is hot. A sturdy man in a suit is f*cking smoldering. Blazers and jackets were cut boxy for a reason.
14. You don’t judge each other
He respects you as is and vice versa. If someone tries to tear you down, he’ll throw a paunch.
15. You can have pizza together
Is there any better way of bonding than splitting a whole pie? Women aren't looking for a hot date who orders kale salad but someone who orders them double-stuffed crust and licks the sauce off their lips.
The best relationships are always the ones that can indulge together.