Oh, high school. If you’re not careful, you might be scarred for life; if you are too careful, you might peak too soon. It’s an awkward time when superficiality actually works to your advantage, and for females, we fiercely cling to our friends as we undergo hormonal changes and "mean girls."
We’re taking a walk down memory lane and laughing as we look back on the different members of our high school clique. Don’t forget to update your profile with everyone’s initials!
There was something special about the leader that made her the “ruler” of the group. Maybe she was super intimidating, extra good-looking or secretly an evil b*tch, or a combination of all three. Regardless, she called the shots for the rest of the crew. She probably even had her own spot on the bus or at the lunch table and was dating the self-proclaimed leader of the ‘popular guys’ group. The leader’s most unique quality was her name – it’s something cool and unexpected, like Andie or Ryan.
Today, the leader is pretty much the same person she was ten years ago. She may not have the clique to endorse her as such, but she’s still confident and still kind of an unassuming mean girl. Many leaders peak in high school, so even though she deems herself as extraordinary, her life is as commonplace as her stereotypical title.
This is the quintessential “Heather” of the group. She could always be spotted at the house parties because she was always attached to The Leader’s hip. There’s not much you can say for The Follower’s personality, since she barely had one and was living vicariously through everyone else. The follower was, at best, average and made her splash living in other people’s shadows.
Chances are the follower had to separate from the mother hen once high school was over, in which case she probably “found herself” in college and now is a completely different granola-eating version of herself. Although, true followers - the ones who aren’t secure with themselves - are still hanging onto their old school group and planning reunions for everyone to get together again.
The Fast One
The Fast One was the girl who was hooking up and having sex years before anyone else. She was the appointed speaker at sleepovers to offer her friends a tutorial on how to give a handjob. As if nature and nurture were working together, she was fully developed by the time she hit freshman year and flirted with all the older boys.
The Fast One always had rides home after school and was "hanging out” at boys’ houses alone when other members were parentally-restricted. Like a playbook, she called every stage of getting with a guy by "the bases."
Old habits die hard in the case of The Fast One – she likely had revealing photos of herself on someone’s hard drive or was hooking up with her professor in college.
Since sexual promiscuity does not dictate your place in life, The Fast One ironically has a nice, polite husband (who probably doesn’t know about her past history) and at least two children. When she’s with her family and runs into high school buddies on the street, she immediately dodges them or plays dumb when they ask if she’s available for a quickie.
The Social Climber
No social ladder was too high for this girl to try and climb. She knew everything about everyone else and always wanted to be like or be friends with a certain other girl. The social climber had ulterior motives when it came time to Friday night plans, desperately needing to be where her ‘girl crush’ was.
She stalked AOL Instant Messenger away messages to find out where people were going, had the inside jokes with fake "best friends" in her profile description (to solidify her relationships with them) and only wore the trendiest outfits (a.k.a. tattoo choker necklaces, velour jumpsuits, and butterfly clips). She was the one who suggested everyone buy ‘friendship rings’ on a group trip to the mall.
The social climber is still trying to keep up with the Joneses and insert herself into every girl clique that still exists. For this reason, she probably works in fashion PR or some other flashy name-brand job in order to “meet new people” and ensure she’s at the coolest spots or scene-iest parties.
The Karen was the friend that no one actually liked but was still somehow part of the group. She’s “the one everyone was talking about before she got there.” The Karen always had to pull an extra chair over to the lunch table because no one saved her a seat and was always sitting on the end at school assemblies. The most attention she ever got was this paragraph acknowledging her existence.
Nobody really knows or cares where the Karen is now.
This is the girl who unfortunately had to move the summer before freshman or sophomore year of high school, therefore making it exponentially harder for her to find girlfriends. The Newbie was both really interesting and chill (if only because she didn’t grow up in your bubble of a small town) or was super weird and socially awkward. There was no in-between with her, and since she joined so late in the game, she would forever be known as “the new girl.”
Nowadays, The Newbie is off doing her thing, some place where she is finally settled and happy. She doesn’t talk about high school - her family probably moved out of the town already - and now she’s doing something quirky like being a blogger or running an E-Bay site.
The One Who Always Has A Boyfriend
There’s always one in every group of girls. When you ask this girl about her love life, she’ll list every boyfriend she’s ever had since kindergarten, and amazingly, there are no gaps or periods of time when she was single.
Her boyfriend took her home from school every day and was practically part of your clique since he was this girl’s best friend (and by extension, yours). Her claim-to-fame is taking every boyfriend’s virginity. Her profile pictures were always of her and him together.
The One Who Always Has A Boyfriend is obviously with her boyfriend right now and that’s really all that matters.
The Sports Player
This sporty girl had two groups of friends: her teammates and her girls clique. She played a sport for every season, rocked varsity jackets ornately decorated with a plethora of JV and varsity patches, and brought her cheerleader mom to chaperone the high school dance. She wore t-shirts that said, “Field Hockey Girlz Rule!” or “Soccer Starz 4 Lyfe!” and wore a baseball cap better than Derek Jeter.
She was constantly carpooling to a meet or a game and knew the sports rankings of every nearby high school – information that The Social Climber always found useful. She was chummy with the guys because they respected her athletic abilities and the fact she could outrun them in gym class.
The Sports Player was recruited by multiple colleges to play for their team and was a Division 1 athlete. She can be found running marathons for fun and playing for an intramural team post-college, or even being a women’s sports star, as her old t-shirts suggested she would be.
The One From Kindergarten That You’re Obligated To Be Nice To
Rather self-explanatory, your mother is still best friends with this girl's mother, despite the fact that the two of you secretly hate each other. You exchanged pleasantries in the hallway but didn’t exactly defend her when the rest of the crew made fun of her behind her back.
Now, the only communication you have with this girl is when she randomly appears on your Facebook newsfeed. She might have a baby or she might be a news anchor or just simply an average girl. Either way, you are always shocked to see that she still exists and is doing things.
The Funny One
The Funny One was always genuinely funny but painfully insecure about her looks. Everyone agreed that she had “the best personality” and was voted class clown, yet seldom received attention for her appearance. She was a good friend to have, as long as her humor wasn’t targeted against you.
Today, The Funny One is still off somewhere being comical, usually at her expense. She might have toned it down a little, realizing that the spotlight can get lonely. Perhaps she is the life of her office or is just forwarding humorous emails to her friends.
The Late Bloomer
The Late Bloomer is the dark horse of high school. No one would have guessed that she would be the beauty she is today, and yet she deserves every ounce of praise she gets. It’s like one day she went to bed as a B-cup and woke up with double D’s. The late bloomer lost the braces, grew some boobs, got a solid haircut and surprised everyone.
She’s the girl who everyone is still talking about when you casually run into a fellow high schooler at the bar. No one really knows what kind of job she has or what exactly she’s up to, except that she’s always being photographed looking awesome and in bikinis.