Having huge boobs may be great in the long run, but the daily living really wears you out, especially when it's time for bed.
You've tried sleeping in a sports bra, but wound up suffocating yourself and you've tried sleeping with no shirt on and that was even worse. Will we ever know comfort? Probably not, but it is better than alternative, isn't it?
Sure, they make a great shelf for your snacks and your bowl when you're lying there before actually falling asleep, but when it comes time to hit the hay, the struggle has never been more real. So what is it really like? Well...
1. Sleeping on your stomach is not an option
Sleeping on your stomach seems to be one of the more comfortable sleeping positions... unfortunately, it isn't for you. You feel as if you are going to burst from the inside out and believe me that won't be good for anyone.
Too bad they don't sell mattresses with holes dug out so you can enjoy a nice stomach sleep, like the remainder of the population.
2. Sleeping on your side is still uncomfortable
Okay, so sleeping on your stomach is out of the question, let's move along to the side sleep. Too bad your boobs are now painfully mashed together, creating a waterfall of boob sweat. Yum... They really need to invent boob pillows or something of that nature.
3. A bra could help, but that's just suffocating
Okay so now what? You try sleeping in a bra, but, honestly, the last thing you want to do is wear a bra for any longer than you need to. The best part of your day is when you finally get home from the office and can remove your bra with ease and excitement.
That one moment seems to be the stress reliever you were looking forward to all day long.
4. Imagine sleeping with 10 pounds of fat on your chest
So. Heavy. So. So. So. Heavy...
Too bad you can't detach them and hang them up so you could actually enjoy a full night's rest. I wonder what sleeping through the night is like? Is it possible to wake up and not be exhausted? Ugh...
5. You always wake up with back pain
While everyone else wakes up with coffee, you wake up by crossing your legs to one side and cracking your back. Now repeat on the other side and you are finally able to get out of bed.
You find yourself asking, "Why doesn't insurance cover massages if you are well over a C-cup?" Well, that's a very good question and one I would love to know the answer to.
6. It sucks when you eat so much and can't lie on your stomach to feel better
Sunday nights are usually when you feel the pain the most because most everyone indulges on this special day of the week. Except you are in for a rude surprise when you can't lie on your stomach to help decrease the bloat.
All this does is pile the weight onto your back. When will you ever learn? Don't ask me, this is my favorite Sunday ritual.
7. Boys think that they are suitable pillows
Oh sir, I am so glad you are comfortable, but you are actually killing me, so could you, maybe, I don't know — get the F off?
There is nothing worse than wanting to sleep and having someone give you unwanted attention. You keep to your side and I'll keep to mine, understand?
8. You wake up to a nipple
How the f*ck did you get out here? For some reason, your boobs have managed to escape the constraints of your sleep tank top.
What a lovely morning surprise, but can you please go back to where you belong? ...Out of sight and out of mind.
9. You sweat so badly, you wake up with no shirt on
Of course this happens much more so in the summer than the winter, but the sweats are the sweats nonetheless.
It's a very bizarre feeling to go to sleep in your pajamas and then wake up in the morning sans shirt. Unfortunately, this happens and there's nothing we can do except wake up in a heaping pile of sweat and confusion.