4 Stigmas About Single Mothers That Gen-Y Parents Disproved


Single moms have to deal with a lot of stigma surrounding them.

There are many assumptions made about them that they have to navigate daily, on top of already having to work full-time and raise their children on their own.

Society’s constant need to make women in general feel as though they aren't human without partners carries straight over to single moms, and at a much higher rate.

Unfortunately, single moms somehow come with a bad reputation already attached to them, when in reality, they are some of the strongest, most resilient, most nurturing and most empathetic people you will ever meet.

They have a fierce determination and unbreakable tenacity, simply because they have to.

Why they get such a bad reputation is up for debate.

But, I would like to discuss a few main assumptions and explain why those assumptions are incorrect:

1. They are immoral.

First of all, not all single moms got knocked up out of wedlock.

But so what if they did? Plenty of people get pregnant while using protection.

Some moms choose not to marry their partners.

Some were in loving, committed relationships that ended for one reason or another. Some were in marriages, but are now divorced.

There are a million reasons why a woman is a single mom.

Check your judgment because you have no idea how she got there.

Oh, and by the way, they are allowed to date.

Newsflash: They are single.

As long as they're responsible about it, why is it so horrible if they date?

If a single, childless woman goes on a date with a guy, doesn't feel any chemistry, then goes on a couple of dates with another guy and decides they just don't mesh, no one even blinks an eyelid.

They say things like, “Oh, you poor thing. You hang in there. You’ll find someone.”

But if a single mom does the same thing, she's automatically "a whore."

In reality, she's probably dating way less than her single, childless friends.

It takes so much more effort for a single mom to even make it to a date.

It’s not like she is out there schmoozing up every Tom, Dick and Harry because it is almost impossible to do so.

A babysitter costs, like, $10 an hour.

So for her to save up for two weeks just so she can go out with a guy with whom it probably won't work out is just not good economics.

Do single moms pass up opportunities with decent men? Probably.

But you know what? That's okay with them because trying to sustain relationships when you have kids is difficult.

They can take too much energy, too much time and too much focus away from the kids.

Here is the the kicker, though: Married people encourage single moms to "find a good man" because it will make life easier.

So, let me get this straight: They can't date, but they need to find good men?

Makes perfect sense, right?

2. They don’t know what they are doing as parents.

If a married woman is in the store, and her child is pitching a tantrum, everyone nods in sympathy.

But if a single mom is in the same situation, she has 15 people telling her how to parent her child.

Let me let you in on a little secret: Single moms may not have all the answers, but I guarantee you they can handle things on their own.

You know why? Because they have to.

They don't have a daddy there to hand off little junior to when he's getting too hard to handle. That's what no one else sees.

No one else sees the moments when they walk in the door, completely fried from work, but get bombarded with 50 requests, questions and papers to sign all at once.

But you know what? They handle it because they have to.

So give them a little credit, please.

They work hard, and they don’t get breaks.

3. They have no self-control.

Single moms have hefty restrictions on social time.

As I mentioned earlier, babysitting is expensive, and they can't just get one at the drop of a hat.

Your impromptu, "Let's go get a drink!" request sounds fun and all, but unfortunately, spontaneity just doesn't work for her.

For her to go out, it takes a full week of planning and saving.

So, when she does get a chance to go out, she goes all out.

If you see a single mom out, being hyper and possibly a little too loud or dancing ridiculously and laughing, check your judgment and buy her a drink.

Because guess what? She doesn't get to do that very often.

Remember she had to plan, save money and move mountains to get out of the house.

So cut her a little slack, will you?

4. They are looking for new “baby daddies.”

Stop and really think about this.

She has already been let down by the real parent of her child. Why on earth would you think she is looking to go through that again?

If there is one thing single moms are, it’s strong.

Needing someone to complete their families isn't a top priority for them.

Trusting someone around their kids is a huge hurdle, so they will be extremely cautious about the people they bring home.

She is not looking to trap anyone.

In fact, she will probably end up being your dream girl because she is too busy to be worried about what you are doing every second of the day.

Maybe she just wants some adult company that doesn’t involve conversations about Common Core, disciplining toddlers and the latest animated flick from Pixar.

Consider yourself lucky that she chose to go out with you because remember: She had to work to get there.

The bottom line is this: Give single moms a break because they really do have a lot on their plates.

While they neither need nor want sympathy from you, they absolutely want (and greatly deserve) your respect.