The Great Divide: What It's Like To Be A Single Girl Among Millennial Moms

by Deanna Clevesy

I'm 25 and at the brink of “the great divide.” Many of my friends are having, or have had, children; the other half are still eating cereal for dinner (guilty as charged) and can't be held responsible for the decisions they make after a routine happy hour.

I knew this day would come, and I have embraced it wholeheartedly.

This time is genuinely exciting for me as a friend. It's so special to be able to watch the people I love the most multiply into cuter, more innocent versions of themselves that, unlike their mommies, can actually pull off a floral headband.

It's easy to reach this point in adulthood and fall under one of two categories: the boring mom or the eccentric single friend, as if there is a volcanic pit in the hypothetical middle ground of who we become as young adults.

As our generation tries to navigate between the changes that have happened in our early 20s -- engagement, marriage, babies -- we tend to simply bunch people into categories that are easier to understand.

This is not only a disservice to everyone involved, but it's also creating barriers and pressure where there should be none.

Moms are rad. The women I know who have given birth are the most amazing, strongest, wonderful human beings on the planet.

They are managing a life while more than likely, I am watching Netflix in my underwear.

It is incredible what my mommy friends have been able to accomplish in their short years on this planet.

When they are compiled into this “mom” category of society, in conversation, it seems like they are at the shallow end of the pool; whereas, all the childless, single people are jumping off the diving board into 6 feet of tequila.

As a single girl living in New York City, I also get judged. I am so unattached it scares people.

When I am the minority in a group of moms, fiancés and wives, I feel dubbed as the progressive city-slicker who either has my life together and will “totally make it big,” or is a hot mess who must only subsist on boozy brunches, career dreams and the remnants of change I find in the back of NYC cabs.

My choice not to settle down and have children right now is not an act of defiance or snobbery. It's just that: a choice.

There are in-betweens and grey areas; there is a giant spectrum of success and happiness that does not follow occupation titles on Facebook or can be conveyed through a tactile Instagram filter.

Millennial moms are leading thrilling lives and careers, all while breastfeeding an infant. Single, childless 20-somethings can be so boring and without purpose that you would thank your lucky stars their sole responsibility is turning off the XBOX.

We have a wonderful choice to do what makes us happy, no matter what cute little box 20-somethings are pressured to fall under.

I know that the inspiring women around me will always be there to support my accomplishments, whether it's my latest promotion or my ability to raise a kid who doesn't hate my city-slicker guts.

We are dynamic, strong women who should never be humbled by a category of woman placed upon us just as we enter adulthood.

By the way, I see you eating cereal for dinner over there. Trust me, you'll be a great mom anyway.