Mom As BFF: 30 Times 'Gilmore Girls' Lied To Us About Relationships
The Gilmores are back, baby.
The beloved mother-daughter comedy that taught us about love, Yale and coffee is still a time-honored rerun in our apartments. There's no way to wind down like witnessing Lorelai and Rory banter or feeling our hearts flutter for our all-time bad boy crush Jess Mariano.
When hotly contested news broke that Netflix is in talks with "Gilmore Girls" creator Amy Sherman-Palladino to reboot the fast-talking comedy, it became apparent we never really moved past the untimely loss of the show.
No matter how much we love the characters, there's something important to get straight. As teenagers, "Gilmore Girls" set us up with incredibly unrealistic relationship goals.
Here are all the ways Lorelai and Rory f*cked your sh*t up:
1. Everyone in your hometown will be incredibly cultured and lively.
2. A mom’s job, first and foremost, lies in being her daughter's BFF.
3. Parenting primarily involves giggle fits and french fries, not actual rules. Don't even think about grounding your children.
4. Chowing down on Chinese food while binge-watching television is the best combination for a thin waist and flawless complexion.
5. Grandparents are an endless fountain of money. They also happen to be utterly invested in your love life.
6. High school boys will be well-versed in literature and have no problem throwing out witty poetic references. They also have impeccable hair and the jawline of a young Rocky Balboa.
7. You’ll probably meet the love of your life in high school. He also happens to be your 16-year-old baby daddy.
8. You’ll find the second love of your life as an adult. He serves your coffee.
9. You'll probably be super wishy-washy about all of it. This indecision will last seven painstaking years.
10. It’s entirely appropriate to hit on your daughter’s hottie high school teacher.
11. If you do it enough, he’ll probably propose.
12. Then, you can break his heart with no regrets.
13. Bad boys, especially the kind with charisma and good looks, will always change for you.
14. Even better, they’ll settle down for you.
15. A boyfriend who accidentally breaks your arm in a car crash is a real turn on.
16. That same boyfriend should force you to take uncomfortable risks, never just wanting to hang out. Frankly, loyalty is boring and being ignored is way more of a turn on.
17. Moving in together? No big deal. Don't even give it a second thought.
18. Being financially dependent on your boyfriend is seriously fine, especially if he buys you a Birkin bag.
19. In fact, it’s your boyfriend's job to spoil you with free meals (read: coffee and pie).
20. Literally anyone is fair game when it comes to getting rid of your pesky V-card, even a married ex-boyfriend whose heart you broke.
21. Your dry spell will be so short-lived, you’ll barely notice it. It's just freshman year of college, then you're done forever.
22. If you have to friend zone a guy who just can't take "no" for an answer, it’s all your fault. He was kind of a poor whiny kid, though, so it's fine (We get it, Marty, you're poor).
23. Class and money play a make-it-or-break-it role in every love affair (Hear that, Dean? Go home, you're poor).
24. Getting drunk on tequila will make an adult hook up with your baby daddy way less weird.
25. Ambitious people always thrive together in relationships, especially when they both want to go into the same industry.
26. You’ll constantly have at least two men with model-like good looks in your life. No matter if you live in Bumf*ck Nowhere, Connecticut or the big city.
27. Living with your husband and his best friend and your twins won't present any problems. Especially if you support yourselves by playing rock music in Korean church basements.
28. You'll probably never make friends at any point in life after your childhood and high school best friends, so choose them well and make sure they, too, have wealthy families.
29. No matter how many people you sleep with, you’ll always be “the good girl.” Ages and sexual partners are just numbers.
30. Dropped out of school for a year and got arrested? No problem, your prestigious school newspaper will be only too happy to make you Editor-in-Chief.