Choosing between the guy-no-call-ologist and opting for a homie/lover/friend is exhausting. Still, it seems every time our phones light up, we willingly participate in petty mind games. And it usually leads to fizzling out after the first date.
Look, when you expect your partner to be a mind reader, dating becomes Trivial Pursuit.
Come on, who wants to waste time trying to read between the spaces anyway?
Show good sportsmanship and stop treating guys like opponents.
Honestly, until the odds are ever in your favor, the only way to end the game is to play with the best intentions.
Stakes are high in the dating game, and there's no instruction manual for winning. But while we're all gunning for high scores, here are the 15 games we should probably stop playing so we don't kill the fun.
Sorry (Not Sorry!): Making up excuses instead of saying you're just not that into him.
Instead of bumping a dating dud off your roster and sliding onto your next suitor, you lie about having to housesit your own apartment.
Not-So-Sweet Candy Land: Pretending you're in the best relationship when you're not.
You constantly post jolly vacation #usies even though you two argued your way through Mexico. The jig's up.
Unchill Charades: Acting like you're cool with his games when you're really not.
You throw out passive aggressive comments like "I'm fine" and "Have fun" only to keep your true feelings a secret and your boyfriend guessing.
Connect Four Sex: Hooking up with no strings attached.
The stars align on a random Friday night, so you connect in the bedroom and get down to business without any bells or whistles. NBD.
SMS Solitaire: Waiting to text him first.
Fastest way to remain single: You sit alone racking your brain about his whereabouts because God forbid you make a move first, right?
Man Monopoly: Dating a bunch of guys at once to see who you like more.
You roll the dice to see who's prime real estate on your roster and who cannot pay for $200 dates or pass go.
Jizz Jenga: You're holding out sex for no reason.
You allow your hot gent to kiss you with morning breath, but let the sexual tension to slowly build up like wooden blocks. FYI: Not letting your libido loose just turns it into the towering elephant in the room.
Scrabble: Reading way too much into his texts.
You rearrange your beau's written messages to make his emotions less cryptic, even though it's better to just to send him a "What Do You Mean?" Justin Bieber gif.
Guess Who: New phone, Who dis?
You curve all "hey stranger" text messages that slide into your inbox by pretending not to know who they are.
No Clue: You stalk your crush online.
You snooped so aggressively you discovered his ex girlfriend's cousin's mom teaches at your alma mater.
Risk It All: You (accidentally?) like your ex's Instagram pic from 14 weeks ago.
Instead of admitting he still occupies your mind, your strategy is to drunkenly scroll through months of his photos. (See also: You're in love with him.)
Mad Libs: You send texts that are written by friends
You don't just give your BFFs a front row seat to your relationship, you also let them ghostwrite your rebuttals.
Go Fish(ing): When you re-download your Tinder app.
You look for a pick-me-up or pity date because you've ran out of matches.
Looking For Trouble: You're trying to make your ex jealous.
You post your potential on the 'Gram just for your ex to see.
Old Maid: You’re faking like you're so happy to be single.
You feel completely unmatchable, so you discarded all your lingering suitors. That fact that you crush a pint of Talenti and watch "Sex and the City" reruns every night has nothing to do with your relationship status.