Every time I look at a hot girl, I think about how happy she must be. It’s sick and disgusting, but I figure if she’s pretty, she must be happy. She has what others strive for, spend their years yearning and pining for.
She has the most important quality human beings seek in a mate. That’s it... she’s done; she can relax; she can enjoy her good fortune. How can she possibly be sad or worried about anything?
In reality, our sick and twisted society has created the ultimate trap: the prettier you are, the prettier you still could be. The more you get, the more you lose. Because when a woman looks in the mirror, she doesn’t see everything you see, she sees everything she’s not.
Why is that? Why is the pretty girl miserable? Why do we seem to gain insecurities with compliments? The conundrum behind the beautiful, yet insecure complex stems from a few theories, but I think the most obvious is the pedestal complex. When you put a woman on a stool, she’s bound to get tired and fall off.
Once people have decided to judge you solely on your looks, that becomes the most scrutinized quality you have.
You’re pretty, but not as pretty as she is. You’re hot, but she’s hotter. You’re beautiful, but so is she. We’ve made it a competition rather than a camaraderie. We’ve made one type of pretty better than another, when in reality pretty is just... pretty.
We’ve made looks entirely too important and it’s sad because our looks are something we can’t control. We can’t help how we look, but we can help what we think and believe. The things that we yearn to be idolized for and judged on take a backseat to the first and most "important" quality a woman is supposed to attain: beauty.
That’s why women are so insecure. We’re conditioned to safe guard this fleeting and elusive quality that we know will leave us one day. Our looks are our shady boyfriend who we think will cheat on us the second we close our eyes.
We’re constantly paranoid and always comparing. We’re ready to rip our curly, but not straight, hair out of our heads before we have a chance to wonder if another woman’s is better.
Because she knows she’s being judged on her looks first
Was she pretty? That’s the first question we ask when hearing a story about a woman, isn’t it? As if her looks will change the quality or effect of the story.
If she’s pretty, then it’s more interesting. Women know this and knowing this causes them to constantly wonder how people will describe their looks in their next story. Will her looks be enough to keep people interested?
Because people made her believe that’s all she has
If beauty is all she has, what happens when another girl is prettier than she is? Does that make her less of a person? If it’s all about looks then what happens when hers start to fade? What happens when her breasts start to sag and her wrinkles start to show? Will you still love her?
If your devotion and obsession with her lies in something she could lose, will there be anything keeping you there when it's gone? When the most important part of you is the one you can’t control, you become paranoid and obsessive, it's only natural.
Because it’s the primary adjective you describe them by
She’s not smart, she’s beautiful and smart. She’s not hilarious, she’s “decent looking with a personality that makes up for it.” The first adjective before any others is about her beauty. All her other qualities come second, as a definer.
When your entire life is based on a single adjective, you begin to think that's all you're defined by.
Because they know they’ll fade eventually
What’s a gift if it’s only temporary? Is it even a gift then? Having something that you know will leave you eventually isn’t a comforting feeling, it’s a terrifying one. If you get used to the idea that your looks are all you need, then what will you do when the thing you relied on is no longer there for you?
Because no one cares to look any deeper
You have so much to say and you’ve grown so much from the person you once were. You’re smart and honest and have ideas you want to share. All anyone judges you on, however, is the one thing you have nothing to do with, the one thing that you had no control over.
You know that they will eventually see the other sides of you, but the side they make such a fuss over is the one that’s not been part of your growth and development as a human.
Because they retrain the insecurity of their younger selves
Those middle school years with braces, Scoliosis and bad skin will haunt them for the rest of their lives. Just because they blossomed into women who couldn’t be more beautiful doesn’t mean they don’t remember the other side. They have scars from former years and their retainers are a reminder that they aren't perfect. They don’t see how they are, but how they were.