Color Me Crazy: 14 Things Only Hair Dye Addicts Will Understand
If you’re like me, and you cringe at the thought of being forced to change your current lavender, blue, green or pink hair to a more socially “acceptable” shade, then you have most likely joined the ranks of hair dye addicts.
Maintaining an unusual shade of hair color is nothing like going between brown, black or blonde. It requires weekly dye jobs, entertaining in-between shades when your color starts to fade, an acceptance that all your shirt collars will be forever dyed and a love-hate relationship with your local haircare supply store.
You get addicted to the fresh, vibrant shade that’s only attainable for two to five days post dying it. But even when the color starts to fade (and no, not into a cute pale color like people think, but into more of an amber-toned, reddish, ugly shade of whatever color you originally dyed it), you still love it.
Because you, my friend, are a bona fide hair dye addict.
Welcome to the club of split-ends and colorful-haired combs and brushes. Here are 14 things only you and your fellow hair dye addict friends can understand:
1. Every pillowcase you own has been dyed a lighter color of your hair.
Whether your hair is blue, pink or light lavender this week, you can count on your pillowcase to tell the story.
Chances are, you’ll leave a telling trace behind you, no matter where you spend the night. Watch out for white pillowcases.
2. You relate (more than anyone ever should) to the Wicked Witch of the West’s stance on rain.
You might not melt, but your hair color definitely will … right off your head and onto the brand new, white dress you thought you looked hot AF in.
My advice? Always check the forecast before deciding on any all-white outfit.
3. Kids (especially babies) are fascinated by you.
Running errands has never been more fun than it has been with wildly-colored hair.
Whether you’re at the grocery store or the local Saturday morning market, you’re bound to run into a kid or two who is absolutely stunned by your hair color.
Babies are entranced by the vibrant color they’ve only ever seen on your head, and will stare at you for hours.
The best thing to do is to give them a smile (and maybe a weird face) before scurrying away to head back to whatever fantasy world you came from, as far as they’re concerned.
4. Old people, on the other hand, will judge you very openly.
Some like to shake their heads disapprovingly and mutter something about how you’ll never find a job looking like that.
But you’re young, and most likely employed at a place that’s much more open-minded, so ignore the haters.
5. You laugh (or cry) at the prices listed at your local hair salon for full-color dye jobs.
It costs HOW MUCH for corrective hair coloring?
If you’re like the rest of us, you know ain’t nobody got money for that. DIY dyeing is the way to go, but be sure to learn up the dos and don’ts before you get started. Otherwise, you’ll end up with fried, bleached hair that can’t hold on to any color.
7. Washing your hair in hot water is a rare treat.
Every hair dye addict knows washing your hair in hot water is a sure-fire way to lose your vibrant color.
Instead, we’re forced into a life of cold shampooing, counting down the seconds until we’re done with our hair, so we can turn the water temperature right back up.
However, nothing’s better than washing your hair on the highest temperature on days you know you’ll be dyeing.
After all, life’s all about the little things.
8. You have an unusual amount of tin foil and plastic gloves on deck at any given time.
The local Walgreens clerk thinks it’s a bit odd, but you know you can never have enough tin foil for dye days.
A tell-tale sign of a rookie dyer is brightly-dyed hands from not wearing gloves while washing their hair out for the first time. You know this from personal experience.
9. Life is what happens while you’re busy dyeing your hair.
But actually, though.
You never knew how time-consuming painting your hair a new color could get, but what can you do? It’s too late to go back now.
10. Strangers feel the need to keep coming up and touching your hair.
What even is personal space? You lost any semblance of that once you dyed your hair neon blue (fading into green).
Now, not only does everyone invade your space, they also tend to grab and touch your hair, without even saying anything first.
11. It’s never the same color for longer than 24 hours. Literally.
A true hair dye addict knows nothing lasts when it comes to vibrant colors. You’re not fooled by Photoshopped images online, or even photos on social media.
No dye job stays the same color past the first wash, but the constantly evolving color is part of the fun. You never know what you’re going to look like once you step out of the shower each morning.
12. You're familiar with the too-real debate of deciding whether or not putting your head in a pool or ocean is worth the chemicals.
It’s not a question of whether you’ll look cute with wet hair.
You honestly can’t get your hair wet in a pool or the ocean anymore, unless you’re fine with the color seeping out of your hair.
13. You're constantly being asked whether you always match your hair to your clothes.
It’s not your fault half your wardrobe happens to be some shade of blue.
14. You’re a prime, deluxe, exclusive, VIP member of your local haircare supply store.
You’re there a minimum of once a week, so they upgraded you to the absolute highest VIP member service. With the amount of dye bottles you buy, you definitely need all the coupons you can get.
Dying your hair fun, unusual colors is an incredibly joyful experience that not everyone gets to go through. So live it up while you can, and be sure to deep-condition that colored hair of yours from time to time.