OK, men: She's spent the night at your place and generously judged your probably disgusting bathroom. Now, you're going to her place. Your expectations are high because you see her as a perfect female goddess.
She always looks effortlessly flawless, whether you two are going out on the town or having a lazy day in the park. The sound of her voice calms and excites you both at the same time. You may or may not have tripped into some serious feelings for this girl.
But what if I told you she was disgusting? What if I told you she had some downright nasty habits? Even though we are amazing, feminine creatures, we have our flaws too. Because you know it's all about equality.
You'd probably still be falling for her, but in an effort to not catch you off-guard, here is a list of five gross things females do. You might as well just accept them now:
1. You know that beautiful hair you love to run your fingers through?
It's the enemy when it comes to cleanliness. If her shower drain is clogged, do not -- I repeat, do not -- go in to investigate. Abort mission.
Lurking under that pool of water is basically the Loch Ness Monster of hair. Only a marriage license (in my opinion) warrants the expectation for a man to grab a wad of hair clogging the drain.
2. Speaking of hair, it will ruin vacuums.
The brush that's under the vacuum has this habit of collecting hair: especially long hair. It's a torrid and twisted love affair that usually has to be managed with a knife or pair of scissors.
Dudes, if you haven't had to machete through the jungle of vacuum hair, consider yourself lucky.
3. There are bloody things in plain sight.
Look, we didn't choose the period life. It chose us.
We are just trying to manage it. We are pretty used to it at this point, so if my period happens to not end on trash day, then that tampon is going to stay right there.
If periods still make you wince, you don't appreciate the power of a woman's body. Step to the side to make room for a real man, please.
4. Some of us are really good at losing things, and we mostly lose stud earrings.
The solution? Never take them out. The issue with the solution? Caked-on conditioner and other questionable grossness stuck to the earring's back.
The result of the issue with the solution? Earrings that smell like straight ass. Yes, it's gross. We know it's gross. But the thought of adding another step to our shower routines is too much to handle.
5. Due to the aforementioned shower routine, we sometimes go to bed post-workout, without showering.
There is no run, hot yoga, circuit training or other sweaty workout that can make a tired female go through a shower routine if she doesn't want to. We will gladly sleep in our dried sweat, with the sweet satisfaction that we have worked out our bodies.
As you squirm, wince or grimace at one -- if not all -- of these things, don't sweat it. We know this stuff is gross (yet normal). But we also know that our beautiful, elegant characteristics outshine all of them.
Nobody's perfect, and if none of these things present themselves at the beginning of the relationship, don't worry. They will emerge eventually.
But never fear, guys. These gross habits are totally normal, and they should just be accepted. Also, just as an aside guys: Ladies also poop. (Gasp.)