Girls with dogs are oh so very different from “regular” girls.
Pretentious as it may sound — we girls who have found ourselves in long-term, committed partnerships with our pets have tapped into a hidden (dare I say sacred) part of ourselves.
A part of ourselves we didn’t know otherwise existed.
See, a vastly different side of one’s personality manifests itself when an animal makes its way into the equation.
From that defining moment when our wide eyes locked into the deep-set eyes of our dog, we intrinsically knew it was destined to be our soulmate in this cruel, cold world — life as we knew it was forever changed.
Not only have our dogs been solely responsible for saving us from the harried mess of ourselves, they have served as the grounding force of our ungrounded lives — the weight of their entities pulling us back to earth. Our dogs gave us something to finally come home for.
They provide us with something to nurture and care for outside the realm of ourselves.
Most importantly, our dogs have taught us that a true healthy relationship is collaborative, made up of equal parts give and equal parts take.
What most people neglect to realize is that while our dogs made us more cohesive and responsible adult women, they also have turned our lives into a more adventurous, carefree and spontaneous work of ART:
We engage in the lost art of wandering
The art of wandering was carelessly crushed when we all decided life was one massive, mega race to the top.
Everyone is so endlessly busy, so plugged into electronic equipment, so tangled in the thick of the rush — no one has time to simply get lost in the fascinating world anymore.
The girl with a dog is a shining exception to the modern rule of living only to SUCCEED.
See, dogs take such fierce delight in wandering around cities, parks and towns — so much so that it becomes infectious to the owner.
Dogs take their precious time smelling and breathing in everything that surrounds them.
The girl with the dog, subsequently, does the same. She wanders for hours, allowing herself to discover, seeing the world with a fresh set of eyes.
We’re not afraid to get dirty
Girls with dogs aren’t scared to get f*cking dirty. We’re the polar opposite of the controlling, neat-freak, prissy ladies in waiting, who are in utter terror at the mere sight of DIRT.
Isn’t life too short to live in fear of anything, let alone dirty paw prints bedazzling the couch?
Dogs boldly live their lives BAREFOOT — free from the protective restraints of shoes. Their paws eagerly pick up the filth and slack from the mean urban streets.
They proceed to unabashedly hop onto our couches and beds and laps, ever so innocently sprinkling our clean linens with dust they’ve picked up from the gruesome sidewalks — and frankly, we don’t give a f*ck.
We love our fur babies with such an undying intensity; the dirt they withhold doesn’t scare us in the slightest. We clean up their sh*t with massive smiles stretching over the surface of our faces.
We understand LIFE isn’t clean and perfect; it’s but a beautiful mess — and we love the world, not in spite of it but because of its plethora of filthy flaws.
Girls with dogs are the rare type of grown up who still knows how to play with the carefree spirit of a child, without being intoxicated.
Let’s get real: How often do you find yourself unabashedly rolling around the ground, absolutely free, fabulously breathless, having the ultimate time of your life whilst completely stone cold sober?
We play without the crutch of booze every day. Our dogs have shown us how to let go and give into FUN without the drink.
We can actually make "fetch" happen
Poor, poor little Gretchen Wieners tried so hard to make “fetch” happen, but as the nasty reigning queen Regina George not so subtly scolded her: “STOP! Stop trying to make fetch happen! It's not going to happen!”
Not so fast, mean girl — we girls with dogs totally, absolutely, 100 percent make fetch happen, on a day-to-day basis.
We understand what it means to love unconditionally
The relationship between dog and owner is the purest dynamic in existence. Our dogs love us unconditionally, even when we are a crying mess or put on 10 pesky pounds.
We bestow the same unconditional love unto our dogs, as well.
We love them when they are channeling their inner-show dog after being freshly blown out from the groomers, unboundedly excited, drooling super sound asleep and even when their aggressively humping a not-so-thrilled Chihuahua half their size in front an audience of horrified tweed-coat sporting WASPs at the dog park.
We carry the mission of unconditional love into our romantic relationships as well. Lucky for whoever dates us.
We have bite to our bark
We girls have learned a lot from our dear dogs — after all, you spend so much time with someone, it’s only natural you begin to mimic his or her behavior, right?
Girls with dogs know when to bark, but we also know when things get bad enough -- it’s time to BITE.
Dare to f*ck us over. We’re not afraid to sink our teeth into your skin.
We’re the opposite of the girl with meaningless barks and NO bite. While we will throw out a few precious warning howls when we find ourselves at risk, we know what it takes to keep ourselves (and our precious pups) SAFE.
We’re not scared to deal with some sh*t
Dog owners dutifully pick up their dog’s sh*t daily. It’s just what we do, for we’re solid citizens of the free world and believe in cultivating a respectful planet. We’re civilized -- but not frilly.
We don’t just deal with our dog’s sh*t, but our friends' (figurative, not literal) sh*t.
Too many Millennials subscribe to this contrived, self-indulgent “I don’t give a sh*t” way of thinking. We, however, do give a sh*t.
If you’re our friend, and your life isn't perfect, and there is a lot of sh*t going on, we’re here for you.
OK, so you are not currently on speaking terms with your mother, amidst a life crisis, keep embarrassing yourself by getting too wasted every Friday — we dog owners don’t judge; we deal. We’re here for you, sister, because we simply aren’t scared to deal with SH*T (in fact we pick it up at least once a day).
The only thing leashed in our lives is our dog
Girls with dogs are fulfilled human beings. We attain an innate sense of security in the massive world.
We’re not lonesome, for we have a best friend, an unconditional partner and a bright light in the darkness.
We’re no longer searching for someone or something to complete us because our dog has preciously filled the empty gaps with all the affection and empathy we could ever need.
Having the safety net of the love of our dogs has given us freedom from the ties of toxic relationships with humans. We’re now fiercely independent, refusing to fall into the arms of just anyone because we’re empty and lonely.
Nothing can hold us back, and nothing can tie us down. The only things we feel we need to leash are our precious dogs.
And together, we embark on an adventurous, carefree and spontaneous life.
Important To Note: If you're looking for a dog, adoption is always the best way to go. Check out the Humane Society.