She Gets What She Wants: Why I Wish I Were The 'Crazy Girl'

by Candice Jalili

Deep down, we're all a little nutty, right? You wouldn't know it, though, because almost everyone invest SO much energy into hiding that fact. We write ten drafts of a text to make sure we don't come off as "crazy."

We hook up with a guy for three years without admitting we have any sort of feelings for him. We're that terrified of seeming "obsessed."

We hold our tears back at a party for fear of being "that girl." And we would never DARE confront our friend about missing her birthday dinner, because we don’t want to look “insane.” You get the picture.

Sometimes I just wish I could let myself be the "crazy girl." I wish I could just say "f*ck it" and send the incoherent essay of a text message I drafted -- without consulting everyone I know.

I wish I could tell him how I really feel, without being worried about how he might respond, or how clingy I might look. I wish I could just cry if I really felt like crying, no matter where I was. And I wish I could just b*tch my friend out for something petty and not be worried of how it would make me look.

The crazy girl gets to live her life free from rules. She lets her freak flag fly high and gives zero sh*ts what anybody else has to say about it. Sometimes I just wish I could be that girl.

She's honest.

She tells it like it is and doesn’t worry about the repercussions. She doesn’t need to lie, because she genuinely gives zero f*cks about how people are going to take to her thoughts and opinions.

She's spontaneous.

Nothing is planned in her world. She does what she wants when she wants to do it.

She does everything big.

She lives life in extremes. Every emotion, every action and every thought is HUGE. My life is a solid matte grey, but hers is in constant technicolor.

She's bold.

If she has a big dream, she’s not afraid to chase it. If she has embarrassing feelings, she’s not afraid to wear them on her sleeve.

She's not afraid of anything. She is authentically herself, and she's not afraid of sharing her true color with anyone and everyone. If she has a controversial thought, she’s not afraid to speak her mind.

She's authentic.

We're all act differently around different people. We have different personalities at work, with our friends and with our families. We feel the need to appease different crowds.

But not her.  She doesn’t care about appeasing anyone. She’s always herself.

She can get away with anything.

She’s allowed to do crazy things. If I were to break into my ex-boyfriend’s apartment and set his mattress on fire, people would be talking about it for years. If she did that, it would just be another classic "her" story that we'd laugh about until she did something else nutty.

She lets herself be vulnerable.

I am terrified of revealing my truest emotions -- especially if they make me seem weak or sad. She’s not held accountable for anything.

Nobody expects anything from her. If she flakes on your party, it's expected. And if she chooses to grace us with her presence, she’s praised.

She is the essence of "cool."

Being crazy is "cool" -- especially when you're young. We’re told to life to the fullest and make all our reckless decisions now, before it’s too late. That’s what she’s doing every day.

She is allowed to be selfish.

The "crazy girl" always puts herself first. She does what she wants and when she wants it. She refuses to let anyone or anything stop her.

She has more stories.

Admit it. Brunch with your crazy friend is the best, juiciest brunch of them all. She comes filled with the most exciting and insane stories from a "week in the life."

She knows how to keep people on the hook.

Think of the guy who’s constantly complaining about the "crazy girl" he’s dating. At the end of the day, he’s still DATING her.

She’s a master of the game. To her, it’s not a game at all. Being her spontaneous self keeps everybody interested.

She doesn't waste her time by overthinking.

She is so much less worried than I am. Trying to maintain the facade of being calm and cool and put-together all of the time is f*cking exhausting. She doesn’t concern herself with this.

She always wins.

The "crazy girl" always wins because she knows what she wants. And she does whatever it takes to get it—even if she has to look a little crazy in the process.