If You Have To Force These 16 Things, Just Leave Them Alone 

by Lauren Martin

Women have a tendency to force things. I’m not sure if it’s because we don’t like the idea of giving up or we’re just as stubborn as our mothers, but we rarely let things go without a fight.

We hold onto things, whether they be good or bad, just to carry them. We can’t help but try and control everything around us, even if it’s no longer in our control.

We see it with our friends, our mothers, our cousins, our aunts, yet never with ourselves. We have no trouble telling our mothers to just “let it go and move on” but like six minute abs, it’s easier said than done.

Women need practice in this. We must master the art of shedding. We must learn the art of letting it go when it no longer suits us. We must remember that not everything is supposed to be carried and sometimes we just have to leave things alone and walk away wiser (and lighter) for it.

1. Relationships

Relationships are like drugs -- if it’s not the right place or time you're only going to do things you'll regret later. If you have to force it, it's probably not something you should be taking on.

2. That guy who won’t call you back

Hook-ups are not an inverse equation. If he’s making it difficult to communicate, don’t make yourself easier to get. Any hook-up that’s becomes cloudy with mixed messages should only become clearer by your exit.

3. Friendships

If you're adding years and not losing friends, you’re doing something wrong. It’s a sad fact of life that with age comes maturity and with maturity comes less people you can tolerate.

4. Ponytails

Yes, you have great bone structure. Unfortunately, that bone structure is overlooked by the fact that you’re face looks like a gaunt nun without the habit...and the chastity.

5. Your job

What’s the point of making money if your life is ruined in the process? Work is a necessity, not a prison sentence. If you’re forcing yourself from crying every day, then maybe you should look at forcing that resume out.

6. A smaller size

Kim Kardashian is good for three things: affirmation in the big booty, big waist and bigger ego. Stop trying to be Kate Moss and just be yourself (besides, Kate Moss is so 1999).

7. Those jeans from college

There’s a lot of things from college that are supposed to remain in college. Boys, hickies and those jeans that you bought before the freshman 15. Leave the past in the past and those jeans with your sister--who will gain weight, I promise.

8. Approval…from anyone

If someone doesn’t get you, stop trying to get approval from them. There will come a point in your life when the opinion of others becomes as important as that guy who ghosted you Sophomore year. What was his name again?

9. Small talk

The only thing that ruins a good time is inauthenticity. If you can’t be real and speak your mind, then leave the party and go home and talk to some Netflix.

10. Sex

If you’re not coming, stop inviting him in. If you wanted a night of one sided bliss you would have just gone back to eighth grade and given him a hand job.

11. That extra drink

No one is going to remember that extra shot you took with them but everyone is going to remember you throwing up on the bar.

12. Sitting through the entirety of "Spring Breakers"

They say that leaving halfway through a movie is poor form. What they don’t say is wasting an hour and thirty-four minutes of your life is just stupid. Risk some bad manners for something more worthwhile with your life.

13. That floppy hat that just doesn’t fit your face

Free People is an illusion. You’re not going to be around any camels, cacti or hot bearded men anytime soon. Stop trying to make a look work that doesn’t make any sense on you.

14. A fake accent

The only person you’re impressing is the guy who is drunker than you and most likely putting on his own accent.

15. Giving someone your number

If you’re not going to answer his texts, don’t give him your number. There's no use in giving him false hope and wasting your battery on another round of "hey, what's ups?" that only leave you feeling guilty and him without the nerve to go up to a girl who might have answered his texts.

16. That creepy dude who is kind of hot

If he’s weird now, he’s going to be even weirder the more you get to know him. All the things you’re overlooking now because of his hot face will soon eclipse his 5 o’clock shadow. Stop trying to force a relationship with someone you have to force five shots to tolerate.