12 Different Kinds Of 'That B*tch' You Might Unknowingly Be

by Kelley Lord

We all naturally care what other people think, which is precisely why you clicked this article. You try to be considerate of others and live a good life, but you can’t help but wonder what your friends really think about you. The answer is yes, they may, at times, think of you as “that bitch.”

*Gasp!* You wonder, "How could that be?!"

Well, you know bitches: the rude, annoying, self-centered brats, who don't care about what anyone thinks.

“That’s not me!” you plead.

Ah, but this is only one type of bitch. That’s right; there are plenty of bitches out there. The list below reveals them all and you might just be one without even realizing.

1. The One-Upper

A friend comments on how sore she is from her workout, and instead of asking her what she did or what hurts, you tell her that you know exactly how she feels. The intense double-session Pilates class you took Monday still has you cramped.

You may think you are just trying to relate, but when you are constantly one-upping your friends, you might come off as a bitch.

When you do this, you make every conversation feel like a competition. If your friend shares an accomplishment, don’t take away his or her spotlight. Offer congratulations or remark on how proud you are.

When a friend tells you about a problem, instead of immediately trying to compare the situation, take a moment to sympathize; it's a lot more helpful to your friend than making it about you.

2. The Over-Planner

Do you have to have your day scheduled hour-to-hour? Does the thought of a sporadic trip make you cringe? Is your agenda your bible? If so, you probably are that over-planning bitch.

You may think you are doing everyone a favor by planning a play-by-play itinerary. You think that because you did your research and are saving everyone time, you couldn't possibly be acting bitchy. Well, you must accept that not everyone may like your plans or like having plans in general.

When you try to control the group's next decision, you come off as uptight and bossy. While many people may appreciate how on-top-of-things you are, don't be fazed by the ones who are not.

Getting upset over things not going your way is childish and selfish. Try going with the flow once in a while. You may be surprised with how much you enjoy doing so.

3. Broke Bitch

We all have one in our group of friends. A broke bitch not only never has money, but also makes sure everyone knows about it. Even though the broke bitch insists she does not have enough money to go out, she doesn’t let that stop her.

She spends her night making jokes about how broke she is and scheming how to mooch her next drink. It makes everyone else in the group feel uncomfortably obligated to help her out. We never really know how much broke bitch has in her account, but according to her, it’s “like literally nothing.”

Other common sayings are “I just have to take money out,” or “I’ll get the next round,” despite never doing so. If you do not have money to go out, simply don’t go.

As a rule of thumb, you should always have cash on you, anyway. Not being able to pay the cash cover may not be an emergency, but you may encounter a time when needing cash money is imperative.

Also, newsflash: Most 20-somethings are struggling just as much as you are. Just because some of your friends don’t verbalize how broke they are doesn’t mean they aren’t. Not paying people back can ruin relationships, so don’t be that bitch.

4. The Loud Bitch

You may think you are sociable, opinionated and funny, but your friends might be praying for you to take your next breath. If you are that loud bitch who never stops talking, we seriously wonder how you can’t tell how obnoxious you are being.

Try to pick up on social cues when your story starts to get too long or you’ve over-stepped your boundaries. If your audience’s eyes start to wander, they are probably becoming restless. If you see their mouths open and ready, they are most likely waiting for the appropriate moment to cut you off.

If their responses become one-worded, they are probably growing uninterested or maybe, this was their only way to get a word in. Make your conversations conversational because no one likes to be talked at.

5. The Clingy Bitch

This is the bitch who always needs someone to come to the bathroom with her, even if it’s a few feet away. The clingy bitch doesn’t like to do anything on her own. She’ll guilt you into attending her errands and involve you in anything she deems to be a social crisis (like when her crush texts her back).

I’m all for the buddy system, but if it’s not your pet, don’t pull it by the collar. If you are at your friend’s house and just going to the bathroom to reapply makeup, a solo mission will do. The more independent you become, the more willing your friends will be to help you when you really need it.

6. Bitchin’ Bitch

No one likes a complainer. No matter what you are complaining about, whether it's your love life, your other friends or work drama, pessimistic people are not fun to be around. People automatically enjoy others who bring positivity to their lives and the more you bitch, the more negative toxins you emit.

Sh*t talking will eventually pollute your relationship — unless the other person is just as much of a bitchin’ bitch as you are, and she willingly and fully participates. If so, I guarantee you two are a diabolical duo that sends subconscious caution flares upon entering a room.

Don’t let your problems spoil a good time, especially if whomever you are hanging out with has nothing to do with them. Frankly, people have problems of their own and don't need to worry about yours, too.

7. Lazy Bitch

We all have our Bruno Mars’ “Lazy Days,” but you my friend, are relentless.

Some women are used to being pampered and never see it as their duty to clear the plates from the table, hold open the door or help someone carry baggage. Well, men are not the only ones who should be raised with manners. I believe women should be less focused on being ladies and start adapting more gentlemanly qualities.

When you assume that no one could use your help or that it’s not your responsibility, you are deeming yourself as an exception to social norms. Being high maintenance may have gotten you more popular, but not more liked, so lend a helping hand.

8. The Name-Dropper, Party Hopper

You are all about popularity status. You prioritize responding to texts based on what party sounds like the biggest networking opportunity. You end up flaking on friends who have plans that sound lame for people you barely know, but have a sick rooftop that will look awesome with a Lo-Fi filter.

With your extravagant list of outings, you undoubtedly have a long list of people with whom you have shared drinks. You also undoubtedly try to impress these people by name-dropping other people with whom you have had drinks or indirectly worked with... or seen on the subway.

No one cares which one of your friends is verified or what company your daddy owns. Especially in New York City, it really isn’t that cool what set you worked on or who was there. The people who brag are the ones who have to stretch the truth to keep the crowd’s attention, so quit regurgitating your social résumé already.

9. Basic Bitch

If you are questioning if you are basic, it is already too late.

You may have noticed that your following has been steadily decreasing lately and it is starting to get to you. Maybe it’s because following you means having to know what you eat for every meal, how many miles you ran or how incredibly blessed you are.

Your hashtags, new clothes and “Starbucks addiction” don’t impress anyone. Question why you do the things you do. Are you going on a hike for the likes the mountain-top picture will get you, or because you really want to explore?

No matter how big your following is, being a basic bitch means you are the biggest follower of all. You never thought Ugg boots were cute or practical, yet you tuck your leggings into them every day, comfortably knowing that you’ll be accepted on the street.

What you don’t realize is not only will you be accepted, you will also be easily overlooked as just another basic in the sea of basics.

Will the real you please stand up?

10. Boyfriend’s Bitch

Every girl pinky promises with her BFF around the age of 8 that she will never let a boy come between them. This carried into your adulthood when you saw girl after girl abducted into serious-boyfriend spaceships.

These girls were never to be seen again until they were randomly plopped back on to Earth, just to arrive at your doorstep like nothing happened.

It starts off innocently. You show your friends pictures of a new guy you are seeing and don’t want to cancel your first date to go out with your friends. Before you know it, you are uploading screenshots of your mushy conversations and ignoring people because your boyfriend doesn’t like them.

When your single friends want to enjoy singular time with you, the worst thing you can do is remind them that they aren’t in a relationship. Your taken friends are also sick of being one-upped, hearing about his last Facebook post written about you.

Know that just because you have decided to share your life with someone doesn’t mean you still don’t have your own life to live.

11. Everybody’s Bitch

That's right; sometimes always trying to please everyone doesn't only make you "that bitch," it makes you everybody's bitch. As friendly as you may think you are being, talking to you is like talking to a politician. We know you will say whatever you think will please us and it comes off as phony.

Let me guess: You hate confrontation or being "stuck in the middle"? It's understandable why you wouldn’t want to pick sides in disagreements in which you’re not involved, especially if it’s between two friends. But, when you refuse to voice any opinion out of fear of upsetting someone, you lose your backbone and appear as “wishy-washy.”

If you think someone is in the wrong, say so. One side will appreciate your loyalty, while the other side is hopefully mature enough to realize you’d do the same for her if you believed she was right.

12. The Blogging Bitch

You are the worst. Not only are you a bitch, but you don’t even have the guts to act like it upfront. You leave notes on the fridge for your roommates to “Please refill the Brita and throw out moldy food. Thanks! =)” when you could have easily told them to their faces, or *gasp* done it yourself.

The bitchiness burns through your eyes and if you think your tight smirk is masking that laserlike glare, you are wrong. Kudos to you for not bringing out the claws when you are upset, but running to your phone to feverishly tweet your feelings isn’t much better.

Your perfectly strategized remarks show that you’ve really been dwelling over petty problems. Skip the passive aggressive bullsh*t and talk things through with your friends because if you can’t do that, how real is your relationship?

Photo Courtesy: MTV/The Hills