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Weird Nail Polish Names

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Ladies, give me a show of well-manicured hands: How many times have you bought a nail polish just because you really connected to the name? If your hand isn't up, you have no soul.

We have major job envy for whoever names the polishes over at OPI and Essie.

"Suzi Sells Sushi by the Seashore." "No More Waity Katie." There's a polish to fit every bizarre situation.

If you think those two are as weird as they come, you're in for a treat. Check out our picks for the most downright bizarre nail polish names ever, and the events you should wear them to.

When you meet your Tinder date for the first time and they're at least 6 inches shorter than you:

Essie Size Matters, $9, Amazon 

When you get your first paycheck and see how much money was taken out for taxes:

Smith and Cult Feed the Rich, $18, Amazon 

When your friend says, "No, you shouldn't have one more tequila shot":

OPI You Don't Know Jacques, $10, Amazon

When you're still getting invites to pride parties:

Deborah Lippmann Glitter and be Gay, $20, Amazon 

When you're getting home at 4 am on a Saturday and Uber enabled surge pricing:

Essie Where's My Chauffeur, $9, Essie 

When you decide to watch Clueless instead of going out on a Friday night:

KB Shimmer Rollin' With the Chromies, $9, KB Shimmer 

When you major in musical theatre:

OPI I'm Not Really a Waitress, $11, Amazon 

When you settle on the halal cart for lunch:

Rescue Beauty Lounge Pepto Pink, $18, Rescue Beauty Lounge 

When you know you're the hottest girl in the room:

China Glaze Want My Bawdy, $7, Amazon

When your partner forgot today was your birthday:

Butter London Two Finger Salute, $15, Amazon 

When it's finally payday:

OPI A-Rose at Dawn…Broke by Noon, $10, Amazon 

When it's a Sunday afternoon and you have no plans:

Smith and Cult Porn-a-Thon, $18, Smith and Cult