What Your 90s Teen Crush Says About The Guys You're Into Now
Is there anything stronger than your first crush? You know, that first guy or girl you saw who gave you that weird tingly feeling you just couldn’t explain.
We all remember it clearly -- one morning you woke up, poured yourself some Cap’n Crunch and turned on “Even Stevens” like any normal Saturday.
Only this time, something was different. This time you weren’t just laughing at Louis Stevens, you were lusting after him. Oh, Shia, Shia, Shia! Where have you been all my life!
From then on out, everything was different. Every 14- to 17-year-old with semi-clear skin and a plaid shirt was the epitome of every sexual fantasy you’d go on to have.
You didn’t know how Justin Timberlake got his jheri curl so tight, but you wanted to find out. Every show you loved for its weak lines of humor and predictable plot twists had a whole new meaning.
Those first crushes, those first tinglings and yearnings never ended, even if the men on the other end of them did.
Even though we learned that Aaron Carter’s prime would be in a "Lizzie McGuire" Christmas episode and Frankie Muniz would never grow past 5’ 5”, we could never write them off.
These were the men who changed us, catalyzed our sexual awakening and led to the real men in our life we’d lust and pine after.
It was those 90s heartthrobs we so lusted after that led to our preferences in the men around us. The kind we'd choose on the playground to the ones we'd seek in bars and office happy hours.
Because a woman who lusted after Zack Morris will always look for a different kind of man than the girl crushing on Uncle Jesse.
Freddie Prinze Jr.
You're into that douchey, charmer type. He most likely uses hair products or some type of face exfoliating mask. He does have great abs though...
You're into the classic good-looking men. As with all good-looking men, they are usually sweet-talking charmers who have a way with the ladies. Sometimes, all they need is a look.
Mark-Paul Gosselaar (Zack Morris)
You're a sucker for those charismatic guys who just seem to be able to stop time. They're usually narcissists, however, and live too much in their own world. They also always have that one girl they can’t get over… most likely the high school bae.
You have a thing for older men. You don't know why, but a 30-something, out-of-work guitar player will always leave you swooning -- even if he's still living with his brother.
You'll take the lovable, good boy over the complicated bad guy any day. You want a romantic who will bring you flowers at work and not be ashamed. Basically, you want a whipping post.
You’re into arrogance -- a bad boy with good intentions. You're always interested in the brother of your boyfriend, who you just can't have -- and probably shouldn't (he's single for a reason).
You’re into quirky guys. You find beauty in the ugly and the unique. Personality is big for you. You just want someone who can make you laugh.
Sean Patrick Thomas
You want a soulful man who comes with a hard side. A good boy, who has been on the other side and came out for the better. You want someone to introduce you to another world and break you out of your shell.
You’re always dating your friends' older brothers. They never take you too seriously, but they're too hot for you to ever care.
Jonathan Taylor Thomas
You just want your high school boyfriend again. Not only does he love his mom, but your mom loves him. He's a hard catch, but you're determined to find it again.
You want it all -- the looks, the moves and the talk. You have high standards, and you expect your men to follow. You want to be cherished and challenged.
You're a sucker for good flow and a badass attitude. You want the jock you couldn't get in high school and most definitely aren't turned off by muscle shirts.
You love soul and swag. You just want someone to love you like a real lover. You don't mind a few muscles either.
You're all about the goofy comedian. You don't just want a guy who can make you laugh, but make you pee your pants. You want bent over, unable to breathe kind of love.
You're all about the music... and the flow. You're into anyone you can meet at Coachella or The Grateful Dead tour. Really, you'll go for any guy with a guitar.
You're a sucker for cheesy pick-up lines and frosted tips. You don't care too much about personal style or depth, you just want a guy who can make you feel like candy.
You love those young boys with an edge, those cool kids in school you couldn't have. You're all about independence, sense of humor and an edge... all before 15.
You want a man you can have fun with. A guy who is full of spunk and energy. One who has a deep side and a wild side. Someone you can goof off with, then lie with as he sings you to sleep.
The French guys in "Passport to Paris"
You're into Europeans. The accents, the flair and the sweet, sweet smell of expensive cologne. You can't get enough.