61 Ridiculous Thoughts A Girl Has When Going Through Her BF's Phone

by Ashley Fern

Snooping: It's something everyone has dealt with at one point or another.

With today's technological advances, it's just too damn easy to creep on someone... which is why we often find ourselves bored and looking at our ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend's ex-boyfriend's brother's feed of cats on Instagram.

Is it embarrassing? Absolutely. Have we all dabbled with this before? Oh, most definitely.

In fact, I'm creeping on my best friend's ex-boyfriend right now because she blocked him. Just kidding, but you get the picture.

Though in the wide world of stalking, there are certain things that are little more invasive than others, e.g. creeping through your man's phone.

Any girl who's done this before knows nothing good can come from it, since you typically stop once you find something incriminating.

WHY do people do this to themselves? WHY are you dating someone whom you trust so little that you feel the need to go through his phone? WHY am I asking these terribly rhetorical questions? To make you all see how ridiculous it is to engage in this behavior.

But as ridiculous as it may be, we sometimes can't help ourselves from diving for his cell phone the minute he steps into the shower.

1. I can't believe his code was his birthday.

2. I'm actually surprised I knew his birthday.

3. Does he even know my birthday?

4. Is he setting me up to see if I creep?

5. Whatever, time to take advantage of this great opportunity.

6. Hmm, now where to begin, where to begin?

7. Do I start at the emails... that seems to be the most inconspicuous place to start?

8. Wait, what?

9. Who has over 300 unread emails?

10. That unread inbox would kill me.

11. Why do I even care what's going on in his phone?

12. I sure as hell wouldn't want him going through mine.

13. Woof, that would f*cking suck.

14. I should definitely change my password from my birthday.

15. Time to get to the good stuff.

16. Sh*t, I just liked this girl's Instagram.

17. Now I'm cheating on myself.

18. Do I unlike it?

19. Guess I have no one to blame but myself for this one.

20. Great, just another chick to slide into the DMs.

21. All right, let's get down to the texts.

22. Why the f*ck does he know three Morgans?

23. Oh, wait that's a dude.

24. ...Who happens to be his drug dealer.

25. That's awkward.

26. Jesus Christ, why does he have so many dick pics in here?

27. That's really odd since I've never once gotten one.

28. I don't know which I'd prefer, him sending these to other girls or him just looking at them for his own pleasure.

29. That is just sick.

30. I mean I have some in my phone, but those are just the ones I've saved that my girl friends have sent me.


32. These are not my boobs.

33. Who is sending him these boobs?

34. I really hope they're just screenshots from porn.

35. Does that make me a freak?

36. Does that make him a freak if they are?!

37. Oh well, better than the alternative, I guess.

38. I f*cking hate technology.

39. F*ck you Mark Zuckerberg.

40. You too Evan Spiegel, we all know why you created Snapchat.

41. Who still gets voicemails?

42. These should be interesting.

43. WTF? Who is this doctor and why does he need to see him immediately.

44. I don't even want to know.

45. This was an awful idea.

46. Why does he never answer his mom's texts?

47. How many gym selfies can a person take?

48. This is embarassing even if they don't go on social media.

49. No wonder he's always at the gym for so long.

50. And to think I thought he was lifting this entire time, SMH.

51. Why did I think I wanted to do this?

52. Is he going to figure out that I did this?

53. I didn't even get anything good and I'll probably get caught.

54. I wonder if he has Tinder buried somewhere in his apps.

55. At least I could find some good conversations in there.

56. Nope, there's nothing even good in here, WTF.



59. This plan has certainly backfired.

60. I'm an idiot.

61. I'm just going to slip this phone back in its designated spot and pretend this never happened.