It was my third day as a mom. After an unplanned c-section, I was taking it easy at home and my in-laws were staying over to help out as I recovered. My husband was on a men's softball team, and that night he had his first game since becoming a father. As he prepared to go, my usual stoic personality crumbled and tears began to fall. He looked at me with concern and asked what was wrong.
"I don't want you to go," I cried with equal parts despair and shame. "I'll only be gone for an hour and a half," he reassured me, "and you won't be home alone."
His practical words did nothing to alleviate my tears. Even as my rational mind fought for control, I just couldn't stop the overwhelming emotions flooding my being. That's when I discovered hormones suck.
If you're expecting your first baby, you may have already experienced the mood swings associated with pregnancy. But I'm here to warn you they don't disappear as soon as the baby is out. For the first week or two, your hormones will be all over the place. But don't be alarmed, it's totally normal.
However, sometimes women experience sadness or depression that goes beyond the typical baby blues. If you think your symptoms may be beyond what's "typical" consult your doctor. Postpartum depression is real and is nothing to be ashamed of. In fact, the strongest and bravest thing you can do is ask for help.
To give you a quick peek into what's in store for you, I'll give you a little insight as to what you might possibly cry over that first week of your baby's life. Here are 35 things you'll cry over the week after having a baby:
1. You don't want your husband to go back to work (or to an hour-long softball game).
2. Your regular pants still don't fit.
3. At some point, you'll have to stop wearing elastic waistbands and start wearing real pants again.
4. You're so incredibly relieved you're not pregnant anymore.
5. You miss being pregnant.
6. Your sock got wet.
7. Your baby is just so beautiful.
8. Your boobs hurt.
9. Your boobs hurt a lot.
10. Your boobs are leaking.
11. How can you ever leave the house if you constantly have to worry about your boobs leaking?
12. Someone told you that you look tired.
13. You're exhausted.
14. You can't remember the last time you slept for more than two hours in a row.
15. Your husband bought salt and vinegar chips instead of salt and pepper chips.
16. The baby is crying.
17. The baby won't stop crying.
18. You have no idea how to get the baby to stop crying.
19. You miss the way things were when it was just you and your SO.
20. You feel guilty for missing the way things were when it was just you and your SO.
21. You burned dinner.
22. The house is a mess.
23. You got baby poop on your hand.
24. Your favorite baby outfit already has stains on it.
25. You don't know how to get baby poop stains off of clothing.
26. The dog barked and woke the baby up.
27. You're lonely.
28. People keep stopping over to visit.
29. Coffee doesn't taste the same as it did before you had a baby.
30. Nothing is the same as before you had a baby.
31. You smell like vomit.
32. Your hair is greasy.
33. Something smells bad.
34. It's you who smells bad.
35. You realize that, someday, this baby will grow up, move away and maybe get married. How could he or she do this to you?
I could go on, but do I really need to? The good news is soon your hormones will level out and you will no longer cry over everything. The bad news is those hormones never really go back to what they were pre-baby. You may not cry at the drop of a hat, but things that never fazed you will now make you tear up, like sappy commercials and the baby's belly laughs.
But maybe that isn't such a bad thing. It's true that motherhood changes you. We might as well have proof, even if it means carrying tissues in our pockets for those times when we shed a few tears over just how bad we smell.
This article was originally published on OhHonestly.net.