As if growing up wasn’t confusing enough, the 2000s were definitely a perplexing time in the world of fashion.
Leggings were hitting the market in a big way, Juicy Couture was taking over the scene and unflattering cuts and styles were proliferating at the rate of J Lo’s ass.
And yet, we still walked around in our Mudd jeans and Ed Hardy t-shirts with more confidence than a clear-skinned boy after his first hand job at a Sweet 16.
If only we could have half the self-esteem we had when we were wearing babydoll dresses and butterfly clips; maybe crop tops wouldn’t seem so intimidating now.
There are some trends that were so bad, we’ve actively tried erasing them from our memories. Alas, the only thing that dies harder than an embarrassing fad is your Facebook photo timeline.
Here are the 10 terms only 2000s “fashionistas” will understand.
To excessively rhinestone an article of clothing until it becomes heavy with fake zirconia weight and potentially dangerous with errant metal fasteners.
How it’s used: Typically in conjunction with Ed Hardy.
Seen: On flashy bitchy girls who just got a Bedazzler for their birthday and haven’t yet learned that rhinestones do not equal class (or taste).
Why it’s gone extinct: The arrival of sequins.
2. Chinese slippers
The cheaply beaded mesh slides commonly found in nail salons, junk stands and vending machines.
How it’s used: “Thanks for these amazing Chinese slippers, Mom. I’ve always wanted to look like a broke-ass Erin Brockovich!”
Seen: On girls who got Cinderella’s slipper confused.
Why it’s gone extinct: Smell your feet after wearing them.
A two-piece, hoodie-sweatpants getup that is rarely used for its intended purposes (hint: not fashion) and typically comes in colors it shouldn’t.
How it’s used: As a mean girls’ weapon for intimidation.
Seen: On practically everyone in the 2000s and those who had just little enough style to feel cool wearing something that was endorsed by Paris Hilton.
Why it’s gone extinct: The even worse looking knockoffs made the original wearers finally question why they were wearing hot pink uniforms with such confidence. That and criminals wear them.
4. Wife beaters
A poorly named, stretchy, white tank top that only looks acceptable on Joe Manganiello.
How it’s used: As an undershirt, poorly chosen tank top, or if you live in a trailer, a bib for BBQ sauce.
Seen: On excessively sweaty, beer-bellied men; on girls with names like “Charlie,” “Ryan” and “Kyle” who can somehow pull off any men’s trend without actually being one.
Why it’s gone extinct: Pit stains.
5. Trucker hat
A mesh-backed cap originally worn by the people who are still wearing them in 2015, and then hijacked by Ashton Kutcher and bar mitzvah giveaways.
How it’s used: With the words “Von Dutch.”
Seen: On kids who don’t know you can buy them for way cheaper.
Why it’s gone extinct: While glasses make you look smarter, trucker hats make you look seriously dumb.
6. Layer camis
Wearing two overpriced tank tops on top of each other because that’s how you make money.
How it’s used: Usually one is heinously longer than the other – an effect we’re told is supposed to make a person appear leaner and not at all like a giant block rectangle.
Seen: On girls desperately trying to cover up their love handles with not one, but two layers of fabric.
Why it’s gone extinct: It doesn’t work. And scrolling backwards on your Facebook timeline is a constant, shameful reminder of this.
7. Jean skirts with leggings
A ridiculous tactic for wearing a short skirt into high school, which completely defeats the “hot” goal of wearing one.
How it’s used: Under the age of 18, in embarrassing #TBT posts.
Seen: At Abercrombie and a New Jersey mall’s food court.
Why it’s gone extinct: Who wants to be wearing two outfits at once? And why would you take a perfectly comfortable article of clothing (leggings) and turn it into a stiff, button-closure ordeal? As our favorite Bev Hills Real Housewife, YOLO, says, “Get wise.”
8. Clam diggers
Terribly unflattering trousers that cut off mid-calf and leave you, as well as your ankles, hanging.
How it’s used: “Karen, why are you wearing clam diggers? We’re trolling for dudes, not seashells.”
Seen: On girls whose mothers clearly dressed them in the morning.
Why it’s gone extinct: When was the last time you actually wore these pants for their intended purpose? Or for that matter, to look at least somewhat good? Yeah, that’s why.
9. Dog tag
An expensive piece of jewelry even your actual dog doesn’t like wearing.
How it’s used: To identify to others you are a JAP.
Seen: At bat mitzvahs, in old school yearbook photos, matching a young girl’s braces.
Why it’s gone extinct: Carrie Bradshaw wore a nameplate, and the rest is history.
A two-piece bathing suit consisting of a tank top and bottom that still somehow manages to be less flattering than a real bikini.
How it’s used: “Either wear a one-piece or a full-on bikini. That tankini makes you look like a sandbag with its circulation cut off.”
Seen: On self-conscious girls who are only making it worse.
Why it’s gone extinct: Honey Boo Boo put things into perspective.