We women are very clever. We’re intuitive, sensitive creatures with a lot of complexity and nuances. But sometimes our minds can be dangerous places.
Especially at times of insecurity, we drive ourselves crazy overanalyzing a situation or fixating on some arbitrary matter. Subsequently, we get down on ourselves as a result of being wrapped up in such negativity. It’s a vicious cycle.
We have to learn to accept some things the way they are. Ladies, let’s free ourselves of the self-doubt and the stress from the things that aren’t worth obsessing over. We're just plain better than that.
Here are 15 things every girl needs to just get over:
1. Where your friends are in their lives compared to yours
Just because Lena Dunham has all these accomplishments under her belt at the ripe age of 27 doesn’t mean the rest of us 20-something women need to be on her level. We’re all pursuing different things in this world.
You can’t use your friends’ milestones as benchmarks for your personal success. As long as you stay focused on your goals and progress at your own pace, you’ll get to where you want to be.
2. Love handles, bikini bridges, thigh gaps, muffin tops, gap teeth, skinny arms, bubble butts...
These things aren’t anything to be ashamed of. If you hate it, work to change it; if you love it, don’t be afraid to own it. These terms are nothing more than catchy names for natural spots on our bodies. So thanks; I will gladly have my muffin top and eat it, too.
3. An unflattering photo of yourself online
Why are you stressing over someone you don’t even know in the Internet world finding a bad snapshot? Thanks to the proliferation of Photoshop and filters, everyone knows not to trust a picture of someone online -- attractive or not.
4. Taking a day off at work
Taking a mental health day is a real thing, especially when you have a particularly grueling job. But if you spend the whole day obsessing over what you’re missing, then you should have just gone to the office. Don’t worry, no one ever got fired for having a legitimate excuse.
5. Being single
I silently wince inside every time I hear of another 23-year-old getting married. I can barely choose what to wear in the morning, let alone someone I want to spend the rest of my life with. It is time we stop beating ourselves up about it and instead embrace this special time we have for ourselves. So what if you have to third-wheel it at the movies or split the appetizer with no one but yourself? This shouldn’t feel any different than if you had a partner on your arm.
By the way, if you are 23 and married: respect. Girls need to get over hating on those who choose to get hitched at a young age. Regardless of what happens in the end, we’re all entitled to love however we want.
6. Skipping the gym one day
If you’re stressing about missing a workout, chances are you are the type of person who will make sure you go the next day. Things come up, life is unexpected and it’s better to be the person who cancels plans to walk on the wild side than to walk the treadmill.
7. Hating other girls
Flat-out hating is just a waste of energy on someone you don’t even like, and it doesn’t make you, as a person, any better. Provided you still show this girl respect, it’s okay not to get along with her. I know you don't want to hear it, but this includes your ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. You can't hate her for dating a loser.
We’re not saying you need to feel obligated to be everyone’s best friend (in fact, you shouldn’t). Stop sipping on the haterade, though, when you aren’t.
8. The texture of your hair or a bad haircut
The treatments we’re having done to ourselves feels very much like The Capitol from “Hunger Games.” Soon, we’ll all be looking the exact same, with no unique defining features. What you have is beautiful, and you can totally work it once you stop fighting against it.
9. What some stranger thinks of you
You can’t go through life trying to please everybody, or you’ll never please yourself. Some days you’re going to be a total monster (like when you’re stuck doing another person’s work, have to cancel plans and are left with coffee-stained teeth and a growling stomach), and unfortunately, there will be someone to catch you at your worst. We’re all human -- that’s something even a random understands -- so brush it off and move on with your life.
10. What you ate
Announcing that you ate a croissant for breakfast won’t change or justify the amount of calories you consumed. We need to stop tying our emotions like “guilt” or “elation” to what we choose to eat. Only in Girl World do we take 10 minutes to comfort each other by sharing stories about the slice of pizza we “shamelessly” ate at the catered lunch.
11. An awkward sexual encounter or bad date
Maybe it was your partner, maybe it was you or maybe it was both of you mutually not into the other. Not every romantic experience will leave you fulfilled; some will actually horrify you. But those are the ones that make for the best stories! So be happy you have solid material for your next girls' brunch.
12. Hating or liking sports
Knowing who’s starting for the Heat doesn’t make you any cooler or any less cool (although, knowing really obscure trivia like, "Who was the last pick in the 1997 NFL draft?" does give you some serious street cred, at least in my book). If you like watching sports, Godspeed. If you don’t, let’s go check out the sale at Zara sometime.
13. Tying your self-worth to a man
There’s a fine difference between having a boyfriend for companionship and having a boyfriend to make you feel better. You don’t need a guy to tell you that you are beautiful. It feels nice, but it feels even better when you can tell it to yourself and really mean it.
14. Watching porn
There’s a reason there’s a "Female-Friendly" tab on porn sites: It’s no longer taboo for a woman to watch it. We all know we secretly love the sex scenes in “Masters of Sex” or “Blue Valentine” or even, what the hell, “8 Mile.” Porn is kind of like the uncut version.
15. Being something you’re not
If you aren’t chill, you aren’t chill. If you are a total freak, you are a total freak. Who cares? When I turn down a whiskey on the rocks, I don’t think twice about it because I know that it’s not for me. Strive to be the best version of yourself instead of everyone else.