I've always thought it funny how men fantasize about women -- the images they create about our lives and routines, the fantasies they devise.
What men don't see, in their warped views and fetishes, is the reality of the naked woman.
Before taking a shower, every woman looks at herself in the mirror. She most likely does it half-squinting, examining her assets and then her flaws, with a look of despair spread across her face.
She half-closes her eyes to distort the parts she doesn't want to see and tries to shake off the images as she lets the water wash away her own contempt.
This is a sad scene. It's a scene of a woman belittling herself, hating herself, judging herself.
It's her punishing herself for things out of her control; apologizing for something she did not do. It's her letting society get the best of her.
It's her feeling sorry for being herself. Most importantly, it's her wishing she were like other women -- more perfect women.
I'll tell you something, not because it sounds nice or because it will make you feel better, but because it's true: There's no such thing as a perfect woman, and there is no woman out there who doesn't look in the mirror without mentally changing something about herself.
We're all victims of a ruthless media, and we all deserve better. So, for all the women out there critiquing themselves, it's time to stop.
Because all the things we're worrying about are not problems at all, but rather, beautiful aspects of being a woman.
Every woman has rolls when she bends over. No woman likes how she looks when staring down.
Angles are our enemy, and there's not a woman in the world who loves her body at every one.
If evolution is true, we are the sons and daughters of apes. Do you think female apes worry about their body hair? Do you think they freak out when they notice some follicles on their knuckles?
Society has created a warped view of femininity and excess hair coinciding; everyone seems to forget our distant relatives were covered in it.
Breasts are breasts. No man (or woman) is going to turn them down because there's some extra hair there.
We are women, full of estrogen and a little testosterone; we are sexual beings. A little accessory hair never turned anyone away... at least, not a real man.
Hair down there
When we're young and impressionable, we're crazy enough to believe pouring hot wax over our genitals or shaving away the hair is sexy.
You know what's sexy? Your natural self. Your untamed, unleashed, hairy self. It's what's inside that counts anyway, right?
As the saying goes, "it's just a lil' something to grab onto." What's the point of having great sex if you have nothing to hold you down?
The runways and movies might depict women with perfectly cut bodies, but I can assure you, when Kate Moss isn't on her cocaine/champagne diet, she's letting her love handles fly.
It's not sweat, it's perspiration secreted by sweat glands. Sounds like a biological function, doesn't it?
Why should you apologize for something as basic and animalistic as the evolutionary process of cooling your body down? If a person doesn't sweat, that's more of a concern than a turn-on. Are you an alien?
What do you, Kate Hudson, Yoncé and Lily Aldridge have in common? Y'all got cellulite. Congratulations!
You should be somewhat relieved to know cellulite has little to do with diet, exercise or lifestyle, and is commonly thought to appear due to genetics.
So, relax; embrace it, and shake what your momma gave you — literally.
Newsflash: We all have hairy arms! The difference is some people have darker hair. That's all.
Just because you have a thicker or darker coating doesn't mean you're less of a woman; it means you're less f*cking cold. It's also not a turn-off to have hairy arms, last time I checked.
Big nipples/Small nipples
I'll restate my point: Boobs are boobs; no one cares about the accessory details.
Nipples are like shoes: They complete the outfit. Just because they may look a little weird on their own, doesn't mean they look weird in the bigger picture.
Basically, this is Mother Nature's gift to choice females, as it symbolizes a woman is going to be a nurturing mother (and also a hot dancer!).
Wide-set hips are ultra feminine and sexy; they're one of the only body features you can't recreate on a surgeon's table. Those hips don't lie because they don't need to.
Skin is skin, and it needs somewhere to go. If you're wearing a bra or a tight tank top, it's inevitable things are going to bunch up.
To be embarrassed about your skin or any excess fat around your boobs is like being embarrassed about being human. I think I'd take a little extra skin over none at all...
Ladies, let's stop with the awkward arm pose -- it's way more embarrassing than just letting your arm hang the way God intended.
None of us are going to maintain that middle-school frame we took for granted back in the day. We grow up; we eat food, and we gain weight.
Our arms aren't supposed to be thinner than the fingers attached to them.