So, you let your one-glass-after-work cocktail hour turn into a full-on "Housewives" marathon and now you want to bash everyone in sight, but mostly your own head.
Welcome to the club. It’s called a hangover and it’s the number one killer of productive Sundays, electrolytes and physical movement. Congratulations on your not-so-prizeworthy prize.
When you’ve got a serious hangover, it feels like nothing can get you to lift your head out of bed -- not even white chocolate chip pancakes or Adam Levine without pants on. (Okay, maybe Adam, but only because we need to confirm the size matches the ego.)
Here are the 10 times you just. can’t. even. with your monster hangover:
1. Finish your hash browns
You can’t even keep down water, let alone a full plate of eggs and 20 sides of toast and potatoes. It’s okay, nobody eats carbs anymore anyway. That summer body isn’t gonna deprive itself.
2. Stand up in the shower
You’ve finally found a use for that arbitrary bar just chilling in your shower that you've only ever used to hang wet bathing suits. The good news? If you vomit in the tub, it’ll go right down the drain. The bad news?
You are definitely not moving up anytime soon in this world… But you really didn’t need us to confirm that, now did you?
3. Change the channel for a "Real World" marathon
You feel triumphant enough just pressing the “on/off” button on your remote control. Changing channels? Pressing the right numbers on the first try while aiming directly at your cable box?! With your pudgy fingers?! Whoa, baby steps. Ruthie from Hawaii will have to put that blackout on hold.
4. Roll out of bed to go to the bathroom
That’s what that pail next to you is for, right? You can get away with nursing-home-status when you’re nursing a hangover, amiright?
5. Look at your cell phone
The brightness, the fine print, the small screen -- all the makings of your next trip to the toilet. Whoever is texting you for brunch plans and a recap can wait. You’ve got more important things on your mind, specifically a pounding headache.
6. Smoke a bowl
1. It will require you to sit up 2. There will be coughing involved, which will undoubtedly lead to another bout of dry heaving. Marijuana will cure your nausea; smoking it will bring back memories of those cigarettes you had last night. “I only smoke when I’m drunk.” Does right now count?
7. Deal with people
They only add to your headache.
8. Open the blinds
Sunshine and fresh air? That only worked that one time you were mildly depressed after your boyfriend dumped you in college. And this hangover is way, way worse.
9. Find your underwear
Wait, why aren’t you wearing any in the first place? You face-planted in your clothes from last night, which you’re vaguely certain included panties, but now you can’t seem to find them? Ah, all this questioning is making your brain hurt.
10. Think
Ah, but you can read this Elite Daily article (which admittedly requires no thinking at all). And that’s all that really matters anyway.
Photo Courtesy: Fanpop
