Summer lovin', had me a blast. Summer lovin' got that yeast on blast.
Sorry. I couldn't resist starting you off with a slightly traumatizing take on "Grease." But it's always nice to start with a little lighthearted, musical fun when the topic we're going to discuss is vaginal health.
I love vaginal health so much. I love YOUR vaginal health so much. It's summer time, you guys. You're hot and sweaty and picking up strange guys in bars. It's all fun and games until your lady-flower gets pissed at you and decides to turn your vagina into a bread oven.
Yes, I mean a yeast infection. Yeast infections occur when your vagina's pH levels are thrown off and an overgrowth of yeast occurs. YUM. While this can be for a number of reasons, the sweltering heat of summer and the accompanying sweaty moisture your vagina will inevitably be susceptible to only increase your chances.
So, I figured I'd do my duty as your favorite agony aunt and pass on some vagina knowledge to you, my sweet chickens. I got some help from my friends at Monistat, your favorite anti-fungal, to help me come up with some seriously legit tips.
No one wants a yeasty vag when they're trying to snag strange D on the beach. You're welcome and may your lady bits never become a bakery. God bless America.
Don't have sex after a workout.
After a long sweat session, you're pretty riled up. Exercise releases endorphins, endorphins make you happy and happy people just don't skip post workout sex. They just don't (if you didn't get my Elle Woods joke, don't read the rest of this because I hate you now).
When all of that primal energy is firing through you, you're gonna want to jump bae's bones. But unless your boo remembered to keep the air conditioning running on full blast, you should reconsider your choices. According to Women's Health, after the gym, your vagina is very, very moist from all the sweaty cardio and lifting you've just done, making your vagina a prime area for yeast.
If you have all the sex, you're only making it worse. Instead of having sweaty sex when you're already in a high-risk situation, opt for shower sex because you've got to get out of those sweaty clothes. OK, yes, shower sex sucks, but it's better than a yeast infection. Anything, even horrible, stupid shower sex, is better than a goopy, itchy yeast infection. You're welcome for the vile visuals. Let's move on.
Wear cotton underwear.
I will have you know that granny panties are back. Call the newspapers, you heard it here first. In case this doesn't catch on though, let me give you another reason to wear cotton underwear. You guessed it -- it's yeast.
I know you love them nylon G-strings, mamasita, but the last thing you want to do is get a yeast infection in the name of looking sexy. According to a press release from Monistat, silk and nylon are nice and everything but they don't keep your vagina dry. In the summer, you need to keep your lady bits as moisture-free as possible, ya feel me?
With those thongs you love, moisture gathers and therefore, your pH is thrown off and you will get a yeast infection. Wear cotton panties.
There is a whole host of reasons to sleep naked. Sleeping in the buff is actually good for your health. It will improve your sex life, help you lose weight and increase your sleep quality.
All dope things to be sure. It will also help you stave off that wretched yeast. Sleeping nude will give your vagina a much-needed reprieve from your clothes, allowing it the opportunity to air out.
An aired-out vagina is a happy vagina. And you deserve that, girl, you really do.
Don't chill in a wet bathing suit.
Seriously. Do NOT chill in your wet bathing suit. Ever. Don't.
Whether you're packing up for a day at the beach, on the boat or by the pool, pack some clean cotton panties. Once you're finished getting your swim on, wrap that towel around your waist and get out of those bikini bottoms.
According to University Hospitals, if you hang out in a wet bathing suit, you're basically sending a tastefully decorated invitation to yeast that says, “YOU'RE INVITED. COME ON IN!” No thank you, please.
Don't let bae come inside of you.
Being able to skip condoms is one of the many benefits of being on the pill or having an IUD. Condoms are annoying and dry you out like the thought of your grandparents getting it on.
Your boyfriend probably loves coming inside you now that you're responsible and have taken control of your reproductive organs. Good for you, taking control of your bodily health.
But you can't control yeast growth. Or can you? You can if you say “no” to letting your BF come inside you because semen can actually cause yeast infections. I know it's kind of annoying to have to change the game, but I have a foolproof way to make sure he complies. Just Google “Yeast Infection.” That will be that.
Monistat suggests using condoms, but I say if you're both clean, have homeboy come on your stomach for a few months. He can get over it.
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Citations: Yeast Infections (It's Time For TMI), The Post-Workout Mistake You're Probably Making (Women's Health), Yeast Infections: Diet and Prevention (Everyday Health), It's Bathing Suit Season – 6 Tips to Prevent Yeast Infections (University Hospitals), What Are The Causes Of Yeast Infection In Women? (Health Guidance)