How To Comfort A Friend With PTSD Without Being Insensitive


Post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) is not easy to live with.

Typical day-to-day responsibilities can feel more like completely overwhelming tasks, and the most minuscule activity might just trigger a difficult memory without warning.

Depending on what caused the PTSD, the types of trauma, and how it manifests in a particular person, is likely to vary.

Elite Daily spoke with two experts on the matter to fully dive into what living with PTSD is really like.

Dr. Paul Hokemeyer, a certified trauma professional, describes the condition,

He also says, if you are in any kind of relationship with someone with PTSD, whether platonic or romantic, it is crucial for you to fully understand, to the best of your ability, what the person is truly enduring.

Dr. Hokemeyer explains,

Along with those triggers, of course, comes what you should say, and what you shouldn't.

For one thing, Dr. Hokemeyer says it's key to never undermine a person's experience:

Here are some helpful things you can say instead when a friend with PTSD is going through a tough time.

1. Suggest Something Fun To Do

It sounds a bit obvious, but seriously, to hear you suggest something fun can provide the ultimate relief for someone struggling with PTSD (of course, as long as that something fun isn't going to trigger their trauma).

Elite Daily spoke with Dr. Patricia Salber, editor-in-chief of The Doctor Weighs In, who began suffering from a mild case of PTSD after a bad slip down a staircase.

Though she noted it felt gruesome at first, her friends' suggestions for certain activities helped her through some particularly difficult times:

2. Say You'll Accompany Them In Whatever It Is They Need

Dr. Salber tells Elite Daily, if it weren't for her friend accompanying her to the zen center for that initial meditation session, she probably wouldn't have gone at all.

You may not realize it, but just the simplicity of your company can be extremely calming and supportive for a friend with PTSD.

3. Mirror Back The Comments They Make To You

According to Dr. Hokemeyer, the safest thing to do when comforting a friend with PTSD is to mirror the comments they have said to you:

4. Say Something About Positive Future Plans

This can help counteract the common feeling among people with PTSD that their future is limited to their terrible experience.

Dr. Salber adds,

Remind your friend that life really is beautiful and amazing, and there's so much more waiting for them beyond these awful experiences.

5. Tell Them You're Here To Stay

When someone is suffering from PTSD, it is always one of the biggest comforts to know that, no matter what, someone, will always be there for them, no matter what happens.

Remind them of this as often as possible.