I just got back to my Airbnb after spending approximately 8.5 hours at Minute Maid Park in Houston, Texas.
I was there for the JJ Watt Charity Classic, a softball game between the Texans' offense and defense the JJ Watt Foundation puts on to raise money for after-school athletic programs for middle schoolers, and to meet number 99 himself.
Needless to say, I'm tired, sweaty and pretty dehydrated.
I had no idea the event was going to last that long -- probably because I've never watched an entire softball or baseball game -- and I wasn't too happy when the two teams were tied after the seventh inning and I had to sit through another six outs.
Since I had no interest in the actual plays during the game, I kept busy Googling each player as he stood up to bat.
As someone who develops crushes on people in about 0.2 seconds, (almost) all thoughts of JJ Watt were quickly erased after I began familiarizing myself with other members of the Texans.
Because, surprisingly, JJ Watt isn't the only attractive player on the team.
The Texans' new quarterback walked onto the Minute Maid Park field wearing a cowboy hat, which was a little off-putting at first.
But after I saw his endearing attempts at playing softball, I was in love.
This South Carolina native might have the most beautiful face in the NFL.
And he even let me take a picture with him after the game. So in my book, DeAndre Hopkins is the real MVP.
He's hot, the winner of the Home Run Derby at the JJ Watt Charity Classic and a dad to two little boys.
A HR swing from the champ. Congrats, @briancushing56.#JJWCC2016 pic.twitter.com/HpmOU7NEKu — Houston Texans (@HoustonTexans) May 14, 2016
What else do you want in a man?
The Texans seem to be a team full of relatively small guys, at least by NFL standards.
But John Simon is not a small guy. At 6'1" and 252 pounds, this former Buckeye actually looks like a true NFL player. And he isn't too bad at softball.
You could see that gorgeous smile even from the press box at Minute Maid Park.
Although he wasn't the star of the charity event, the 25-year-old from Louisiana is definitely someone to keep your eye on when the Texans start playing again in September.
Sure, Nick Novak looks more like a golfer than a professional football player, but he definitely has skills on the softball field.
Novak caught my eye the second he caught this ball and got the overly confident Watt out. Maybe Bill O'Brien has an opening at wide receiver this season?
Last, but certainly not least, we have Andre Hal.
I might not be able to remember any particulars about Hal from this long day, but he's proof JJ Watt isn't the only defensive player with charisma and charm.