Los Angeles Rams safety Maurice Alexander needs an absolute spanking in the locker room -- and not in a boisterous, towel-whipping-after-the-showers way.
On Sunday he committed the cardinal sin of any contact-sport.
Take a look:
Yep, you just witnessed a grown man running away from another grown man. Except these guys are paid to smash the hell out of each other.
It wasn't just a quick dash, either, these guys looked like they were sprinting against each other for what seemed like an eternity -- Usain Bolt would not have looked out of place in the scene.
I'm not throwing any shade on LeGarrette Blount's awesome run. The New England Patriot's running back engaged in beast mode and went through the entire team for touchdown.
That's a whole 43 yards and my god does it look spectacular.
But Alexander, come on man.
He had so much space to tackle. Here's his first mistake: Blount snatches the ball and goes full steam ahead, but Alexander hasn't got his eyes on the prize. He's facing forward. WTF.
And when he does finally turn around, he just keeps sprinting like he's trying to beat Blount to the touchline or something.
It gets worse. In what must have been heart-wrenching viewing for Rams fans, their safety turns the wrong way.
Yup. He basically does a full 360 before tackling Blount. Well, I say tackle, but I think a dad would take down their kid with more gusto while teaching them how to play.
Rams fans LOOK AWAY NOW. Feeble. Pathetic. Embarrassing. Take your pick, or use all three.
Obviously, viewers didn't let Alexander get away with the awful play without some trolling. It was savage and relentless. My favorite is a slo-mo GIF from this guy offering up a map to the safety.