Zoe Stavri ruined bread for everyone. There! Are you happy, Zoe? We all LOVED bread and now we can't because of your nasty vagina residue.
Let's just get this out of the way early: Zoe used her vaginal yeast to make a loaf of sourdough bread.
Everyone done puking? Good.
You probably have a few questions after re-reading the above statement and then puking again.
Questions like, "Why would she do that?” and, “Why sourdough?”
To answer your first question, I don't know, boredom? Being closer to your body? Why do other women eat their placentas? Actually, now that I'm thinking about it, why DO women insist on ingesting different parts of their bodies? What's up with that? I can't imagine a scenario where I'm like, “Look at all this dandruff… I bet it would be amazing on flan.”
Oh, and to answer your second question, what other dough are you making with excess *shudders* “thrush” (her word, not mine)?!?! You're not baking up a nice loaf of honey wheat if the main ingredient is infected vagina mush pellets.
Zoe live-tweeted her experience using the hashtag #cuntsourdough because Millennials are the actual worst sometimes.
Or you can just like throw it out or whatever?
Oops, nope. You're just gonna go for it and post pictures? Cool, cool.
I hate everything.
In a blog post about the experience, Zoe said the public opinion on her experiment wasn't exactly positive. She wrote,
It's caused quite a lot of visceral horror, because I bunged something a little bit unconventional in the starter: yeast from my vagina.
Then, she ruined sourdough even more, saying,
Making sourdough starter entails encouraging stuff that's present in the flour and just sort of floating around in the air in your kitchen and on your utensils to grow. That's what wild yeast is. If that idea sickens you, avoid all sourdough, because that's what it's made of, but remember, people have been making and eating sourdough for millennia, and the human race hasn't died out yet. All I've done is add a little bit of my own yeast.
In case you're wondering, yes, this is a terrible idea.
Dr. Helen Webberley from Oxford Online Pharmacy told Huffington Post,
While moulds and funguses have been used in cooking for years, we should never consider eating anything that could contain human genetic material. The vagina hosts numerous bacteria and organisms, some of which can be infective. This is clearly a health hazard.
Here is the recipe, by the way, if you wanted it for some terrible reason.
I'm never trusting bread ever again.