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Woman Gets Caught Giving Blowjob On Popular River Pier In Middle Of The Day

You know that song "Down by the River" by Milky Chance?

Well, that has nothing to do with this story, other than the fact that what happened occurred down by a river.

I just didn't know how best to open this story, for I am aghast — shook to my core by the very nature of this shameless act of lust.

It was a blowjob.

Oral sex.

Head.

A man and a woman stole the jetty by day and sullied its concrete walkway with fellatio.

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Yes, friends, the burning light of day was not enough to deter mouth-to-genital contact. Neither was the couple sitting next to them.

Amidst the beautiful view is the unmistakable movement of a head bobbing up and down on a gentleman's lap.

The sound of waves lapping up against the bank is enough to mask any sort of howls of pleasure.

Where did the blowjob happen? It took place on the River Tagus in Lisbon, Portugal.

Why did the blowjob happen? We can't answer that. But where they were has a nice view of the "Christ the King" statue, so maybe that had something to do with it.

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Here's the graphic video in question, and it's, well, graphic:

Blowjobs in exotic places are growing in popularity and will soon overtake the creepy crown fad.

Only the other day we saw that video of a man enjoying some Ferris wheel fellatio.

What, you missed that? Well, we've gotta fill you in (and apologies in advance).

It happened at the San Diego County Fair in California.

The couple managed to destroy all our childhoods at once with one open mouth. The girl in the basket behind them managed to catch them in the act.

They're must have been so many children and parents on that ride. :(

Promise never to go to a fairground ever again. EVER.

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It's a sad day for innocence everywhere.

RIP, childhood.

Let us pray.