I Answered This Year's Weirdest Job Interview Questions So You Don't Have To
Job interviews are already stressful enough without interviewers asking you how you would fight off a duck army.
If you're thinking, "No way, that would never happen in a job interview," think again, my friends. There are weirdos out there in the world, and somehow they got into positions with the power to employ you.
Glassdoor, a website where employees and employers anonymously review their companies, released its annual list of "Top 10 Oddball Interview Questions." The questions are submitted by job candidates around the world, and let me tell you, they are weird AF. None of them have anything to do with the job being applied for.
Unfortunately, when you're interviewing, you just have to deal with whatever crap gets thrown at you as best you can.
As a bonafide employed writer in New York City, I'm clearly an expert at landing jobs and thought I'd take a stab at these bad boys for you all. Enjoy.
1. "When a hot dog expands, in what direction does it split and why?"
Asked by: Space Exploration Technologies*
Answer: If your hot dogs are splitting, you're cooking them way too long, my guy. The only place a hot dog should split is in my stomach, am I right? You know, like, because the stomach acid is breaking it down? Never mind. It's fine.
*I'm assuming everyone applying to this is, like, a super smart physicist who has an actual scientific reason for why hot dogs split lengthwise when they expand. However, I am neither smart nor a physicist.
2. "Would you rather fight one horse-sized duck or 100 duck-sized horses?"
Asked by: Whole Foods Market
Answer: The answer to this is pretty obvious: one horse-sized duck. There's a pretty big difference between 100 and one. Those duck-sized horses would have me overpowered in seconds. Plus, horses are scary. With the horse-sized duck, I could just break out some bread crumbs and have that abnormally large mallard eating out the palm of my hand, literally.
3. "If you're the CEO, what are the first three things you check about the business when you wake up?"
Asked by: Dropbox
Answer: Well, first I'd probably check my email. Next would be my Facebook, for sure. And third is a toss up between Twitter and Tumblr. Really tough call. OK fine, I'll say Twitter.
4. "What would the name of your debut album be?"
Asked by: Urban Outfitters
Answer: Employee of the Month.
5. "How would you sell hot cocoa in Florida?"
Asked by: J.W. Business Acquisitions
Answer: I would literally just sell it normally. What? You think the people living in Florida never drink hot cocoa, just because it's a slightly warmer climate? Do you think they haven't heard of tea or coffee, either? Florida's not THAT different from the other states, dude. I promise you people already have hot cocoa there.
6. "If I gave you $4o, 000 to start a business, what would you start?"
Asked by: HubSpot
Answer: If I was intending to start a business anytime soon, you think I'd be sitting here with you?
7. "What would you do if you found a penguin in the freezer?"
Asked by: Trader Joe's
Answer: Sell it on Etsy.
8. "If you were a brand, what would be your motto?"
Asked by: Boston Consulting Group
Answer: Whatever it is this company does, it definitely does it the best of anyone.
9. "How many basketballs would fit in this room?"
Asked by: Delta Air Lines
Answer: Is that with or without your added body mass? Haha, just kidding. Totally kidding, bro. Yo, calm down, bro, I was KIDDING.
10. "If you had $2,000, how would you double it in 24 hours?"
Asked by: Uniqlo
Answer: Cut the bills in half.
NOTE: I would not recommend any of these answers if you're actually trying to get a job. Let's just pray you never have an interviewer like one of these people.
Frankly, all of these just seem like mean ways of throwing interviewees curve balls to deal with. Shout out to my manager for asking me reasonable, relevant questions in my interview and not making me suffer this way.