Single Dude's Holiday Card Will Make You Laugh And Cry


I'm not sure if you know this about pet birds, but they can get lonely. The way you can help them with their loneliness is to place a small mirror in their cage.

Coincidentally, I also get lonely and sometimes have dinner with myself in the mirror.

#ForeverAlone isn't just a hashtag for me -- it's a lifestyle. I even know how to give myself the Heimlich should I start to choke on my dinner-for-one Lean Cuisine.

The holidays are an exceptionally hard time.

Not only do you have to deal with your grandma asking where your nonexistent boyfriend is, but you also have to see all your friends and their lovers share their joy on social media and Christmas cards...

No longer, my friends. Fool them with this simple trick taught to us by this perpetually single dude.


John Olmstead, of Mattoon, Illinois, gets me on a spiritual level.

Honestly, I'm just very impressed by his gams. You had me fooled, John. You had me fooled...

Olmstead told Mashable,

Most people use their real legs as the original "legs," but Olmstead opted to wear the girl outfit on the bottom instead for a very practical reason. He said,

At first, I was fooled, but now I'm intrigued.

And just to cement the fact that he is truly #ForeverAlone, he took the photo himself. He added,

Citations: Single dude perfectly spoofs romantic holiday photos (Mashable)