I'm serious about my pizza. As a New Yorker, you kind of have to be.
A perfect pie has to have the right balance of cheese, sauce, spice and crust. When there's too much or too little of one, it throws everything off-kilter, making it a bad pizza and, therefore, ruining your day and, possibly, your life.
We have pizza Fridays in the office every single Friday, and let me tell you ... when that slices are bad, the rest of the day seriously blows. Pizza is important, OK?! Respect the pizza, or else.
That's precisely what happened when a poor, unsuspecting Canadian civilian got pizza delivered to her, and it wasn't up to par. You see, the pizza barely had any cheese on it. How rude.
She apparently contacted the business from which she ordered the not-so-cheesy pie, but she wasn't pleased with the response she got.
According to the Toronto Star, after her initial shock went away, she did what any self-respecting pizza lover would do: She called 911 to report that there wasn't enough cheesy goodness on her pizza. Like the assholes they are, the dispatchers dismissed her call as “bizarre” and didn't help her on her quest to pizza greatness.
The constabulary decided to go public with the obviously very important pizza tragedy because the officers claim to be tired of emergencies that aren't really emergencies.
An officer said,
I don't know what it's like up in Newfoundland, but pizza is a big fucking deal. Oh, Canada, you have so much to learn from your cooler, more pizza-savvy neighbors. Safe to say this woman won't be ordering pizza from that venue EVER again.