If you have a bad one-night stand story, I can almost guarantee it wasn't as bad as this guy's.
This bro was at a party, where he started hooking up with this girl he calls Emily. Emily didn't want any of her friends to know she was about to hook up with this guy, so she was trying to be all discreet about the whole thing. She even made him crouch in the closet while they knocked on the door like savages, and she tried to ward them off.
Turns out, the two of them started hooking up, but never actually did the deed. The guy woke up to find his clothes soaked in piss, but was unsure of who did it or what exactly happened. He assumes it was Emily who did it because he woke up in the middle of the night, and "it seemed as if she was peeing next to the bed."
He had to cycle home in clothes covered in urine, so just picture that. Picture a biker taking the roads in pee-covered clothes. It's a lovely sight (and smell), isn't it?
Oh, man. I remember my worst one-night stand. I hated the guy I went home with. Seriously, I couldn't stand when he opened his mouth, but I had my needs, so I put up with it. The next morning, he was insistent on taking me to brunch. So, I sat there, eating eggs and hungover as hell while he went on and on about God-knows-what. Another time, a guy spilled red wine all over my Gucci bag (I never spoke to him again), but even that is a slightly more forgivable liquid than any sort of bodily excretion.
My experiences pale in comparison to this guy's. I don't want to give too much away about THIS poor guy's story, so I'll let you read the rest.
Here's hoping no one ever pees on your beloved clothes: