These Insane Headphones Give You A High Similar To Smoking Weed
Somehow, the EDM community just out EDM community-ed itself.
You ready to trip major balls without having to meet some guy your friend's uncle knows in an alley behind a 7-Eleven and shell out $40 while hoping he didn't just give you a baggie full of oregano and crayon shavings? That's great because there's a new line of headphones on the market that will supposedly get you super effed up using science and crap.
Meet the NERVANA Headphones and NERVANA Generator.
According to the website, here's how the headphones work:
A central signal-processing circuit receives both music and stimulation signals and routes those signals appropriately to the two earbuds. The right earbud receives only the right channel of the music signal, which is output to a hand-picked, high-fidelity speaker in the right earbud. The proprietary left earbud, in comparison, not only receives the left channel of the music signal at its speaker, it also receives the stimulation signal within the earbud material itself, to deliver electrical stimulation to the inside surface of the ear canal and, thereby, the Vagus nerve.
Got it? Good. Me neither.
All you really need to know is you have to plug these headphones into the generator box. The generator then, somehow, stimulates nerves triggering the production of dopamine, serotonin and oxytocin to get you thoroughly effed up.
You don't even really need to play music when you're listening to this thing as there is an ambient sound option that syncs the headphones up to whatever is happening around you. Music concerts? Getting yelled at by a significant other? A cell-phone ringtone? With these headphones, those sounds will all get you a one-way ticket to Mellowsville, USA.
NERVANA isn't available just yet, but it reportedly premiered at CES this year and supposedly got pretty great feedback.
According to EDMTunes.com, one person tried the headphones and described the experience.
The person reportedly said,
I felt the electricity go into my arm, and everything was tingling there, but the best moment for me was afterwards when I finished and stood up, I felt like I reached a personal high point. I couldn't stop smiling or laughing. I was like, 'Oh wow'. For about five minutes, my happiness level was a 10 out of 10. Then it got foggier, but I was still unusually happy for about an hour.
When the headphones do come out, they will be priced at $299, which is well worth it when you take into account how you will never again have to risk getting stabbed by some drug kingpin who thinks you're disrespecting him.