Mom Has No Clue People Are Having Orgy On The Shirt She Bought Her Daughter

Always look closely at the patterns on your shirt because you might end up realizing you have a glowing-gold, 100-person orgy decorating your torso.

Twitter user "Katie" posted the below photograph of her mom's recent purchase.

If you look at it for more than zero seconds you realize it involves a lot of ass-eating -- along with all the stuff people do when they orgy, but ass-eating seems like the most pertinent to me right now. It's the trendiest.

Her mom actually bought the shirt for her as a present. She posted the photograph of it with the caption,

MY MUM BOUGHT ME A VIVIANE WESTWOOD SHIRT SHE THOUGHT IT WAS JUST COOL PATTERNS AND I LOOKED CLOSELY AND WELL

The picture has now been retweeted 3,600 times by people who also think it's funny to accidentally give a shirt with sex all over it to your daughter.

Every response is like this:

And this:

And this:

I can only hope this person is crying out of joy and not because they do not agree with the hedonistic lifestyle -- we really need to do something about our puritanical impulses and guilt systems in this modern world.

If you'd like to learn more about my opinions on the matter, please visit www.IDontActuallyCareAboutThat.com/videos/page/69. (I haven't updated the page in a while, but suffice it to say, I discuss cock rings and their medicinal properties in detail.)

Katie told Metro,

My mum was shocked but found it hilarious. She thought it was like a marble effect.

Katie did what any polite spawn does when his or her progenitor gives a gift. She said thank you kindly, removed it from its packaging and donned it. Then, of course, she went ahead and tweeted that, too.

Because as Jesus once proclaimed:

If your mom gives you an orgy shirt, wear the orgy shit. Also, I'm Jesus.

That's from the Gospel of Frank.

Citations: Metro