Here's How To Make Guys Feel Good About Themselves, According to Men
Once, during a doctor's visit where I asked a bunch of questions about my boyfriend's penis in an effort to get my copay's worth, my gynecologist told me,
Penises and the male ego can have, for many men, metaphoric connections. Scientifically speaking -- based on science I invented just now -- the male ego is the penis of the brain.
Both can be quite vulnerable, and who better to bolster a man's confidence and offer validation than the person who loves him?
Small contributions, like complimenting his facial-hair choices, are efforts every couple can handle, but how much validation do men actually require?
Redditor RP_puaghow111 asked fellow users,
Boys and girls, please observe the following pick-up lines for bolstering the delicate porcelain vase that is the male ego.
Damn boy, have you recently been diagnosed with cardiomegaly? Because your heart is enormous!
Damn boy, are you a therapist who specializes in women's issues and general anxiety? Because you GET me.
Damn boy, are you a world-famous cyber athlete? 'Cause you got [a tactical video] game.
Lick his eyebrows one by one, look at him and say, "Mmmmmm. Damn, boy. Fleeky AF."
Damn boy, are you Helen Keller's blind companion famously portrayed by Anne Bancroft in the 1962 film “The Miracle Worker”? Because you're more helpful than Anne Sullivan.
Damn boy, are you a Hemsworth brother? No? OK, yeah. I see that now.
Damn boy, are you the healthy kidney of an organ donor who died instantly and painlessly in a bus accident? Then, call me a victim of acute renal insufficiency because I'm glad I found you.
Damn boy, are you the Củ Chi tunnels of Ho Chi Minh City? Because even 20th-century American armed forces fail to make me feel unsafe with you.
Damn boy, are you a seatbelt-free car, smoking on an airplane and a mercury thermometer? Because I miss you.
Damn boy, are you a lauded American mathematician whose battle with paranoid schizophrenia was famously dramatized with the help of actor Russell Crowe in 2001? Because you have a beautiful mind.
There's a reason the saying, “happy wife, happy life,” hasn't lost steam over the years.
Anyone with a penchant for making others happy should pay extra attention to his or her man-wife, within reason, because his brain-penis needs the extra love.