We've all been trapped next to a terrible person on a plane, whether it's a guy actually turning green from motion sickness or an old lady who thinks your five-hour red-eye is the perfect time to strike up a conversation about where you went to school.
But it's basically impossible to top Sara Nović's flight experience, which she live-tweeted earlier today. This poor woman actually sat next to something out of a nightmare on her plane ride.
Good news: no person in the middle seat next to me. Bad news: terrifying baby doll that belongs to the man in the window seat next to me. — Sara Nović (@NovicSara) September 23, 2016
Yup, she sat next to a man and a baby doll. He apparently thought the doll was a real human being.
Okay he bought it a ticket. — Sara Nović (@NovicSara) September 23, 2016
So, to recap, not only did this grown man decide that he needed to bring his creepy baby doll on a flight, but he also wanted so badly to have it by his side that he spent hundreds of dollars to make sure it could have its own seat.
Real babies don't even get that kind of luxury. Hmmmm.
Naturally, the airline attendants were more than a little confused by their tiniest passenger.
The flight attendant is trying to explain to him why he shouldn't put the doll's name on the ticket next time he buys her one. — Sara Nović (@NovicSara) September 23, 2016
Apparently the TSA was frantically trying to match the name and birthrate he provided UNTIL THEY REALIZED... — Sara Nović (@NovicSara) September 23, 2016
IT'S NOT A REAL PERSON. — Sara Nović (@NovicSara) September 23, 2016
Nović undoubtedly breathed a sigh of relief after she got off the plane to catch her layover flight. But like any good horror movie creature, the baby doll wasn't finished just yet.
Holy shit I had a 2 hr layover, got on next plane and AM ACROSS FROM HIM AGAIN — Sara Nović (@NovicSara) September 23, 2016
As soon as Nović reached her seat on the next flight, she realized that the man and his doll were LITERALLY ACROSS THE AISLE.
And don't worry, the doll still had plenty of room to stretch out. There was no way that Barbara going to share a seat.
Oh, yes: The doll's name was Barbara.
Happy waking nightmares, everybody. #especiallyheinous pic.twitter.com/1OVeEuHCTT — Sara Nović (@NovicSara) September 23, 2016
PS the doll's name is Barbara — Sara Nović (@NovicSara) September 23, 2016
Look at those cold, stiff joints and those dead, unseeing eyes. Adorable.
Barbara even has her own airplane pin... You know, like the kind you get when you're a living human child!
Let's hope this was Barbara's first and only flight.