Here's a little reminder that Halloween isn't all about scary clowns cutting people's hands.
Let's go back to the glory days, when the holiday was about trick or treating, big tubs of colorful candy and SQUIRREL MASKS.
If you haven't seen a festive squirrel feeder, then I feel sorry for you, my friend. You've really been missing out.
Scary masks BELONG on these tiny animals.
I mean, look me in the eye and tell me this "Scream" squirrel isn't the most disturbingly cute thing you've ever seen.
Or how about this piece of pumpkin pie that we just want to take home and call our pet?
Even this squirrel that's wearing a blood-soaked zombie mask avec millipede makes us want to go "awww."
OK, this one makes us feel a little uneasy.
Yeah, actually, you know what? This one's pretty nightmarish as well. I'm starting to think this was a bad idea.
Nope. Sorry, guys: I thought this would be cute. But now, I think these tree rodents are going to haunt my dreams forever.
I have failed you.
Instead, let's talk about those clowns.
In case you've somehow missed it, the world is literally being overrun by people dressing up like creepy clowns and scaring the crap out of everyone.
They've struck all over the US. And now, the craze has extended to Australia and parts of the UK as well.
Most of the stories you're hearing are hoaxes. Some, however, are more sinister.
Simon Chinery, 28, from Lancashire in Britain, had his hand sliced by a clown wielding a knife while he was withdrawing money from an ATM. He grabbed the knife in panic, and got cut down to the bone.
But people are fighting back. A video has emerged of a group of people beating up a clown who stopped a car in the middle of the road.
While I would never condone violence, I must say this: DEFINITELY FIGHT THE CLOWN UPRISING.