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Guy Has Epic Response To Army's Sexist Reason He Can't Go To A Baby Shower

A baby shower is not – as I believed as a child – a party where adults gather to proudly watch a baby take its very first shower. Apparently, there isn't even a baby there. There are just several adults who keep talking about how excited they are that a baby is eventually going to show up.

They should call it a "fetus shower." Although, that does sound a bit like a day when fetuses rain from the sky.

Anyway, one army specialist submitted a request for leave so that he could attend a baby shower. His request was denied by his commanding officer, who explained,

MEN DON'T GO TO BABY SHOWERS.

Apparently, according to this man, men should not be excited about a baby taking its first shower.

So, the specialist decided to resubmit his form and change his reason to fit his commanding officer's particular point of view regarding masculinity.

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His revised leave request read as follows:

Going home to the Appalachian mountains to drink whiskey, wrestle bears, and shoot lots of guns. I also plan to grow out a beard, chop down a hundred trees with my axe and eat 10 lbs of thick cut bacon with my wife, whom I plan to have lots of unprotected sex with, because I am a man and that's just what we do. Football.

There's no word as to whether or not this man was granted leave to go get excited about a baby being born, but I have to assume that with the inclusion of the word "football," his commanding officer would have felt obligated to comply.