Oh, dogs. The wonderful and terrible thing about dogs is how sincerely they do everything. Even when they do something wrong, you know a lot of the time they didn't mean to.
I feel bad for this one dog owner, but I feel even worse for his dog that was just doing what it always does in this story from the Today, I Fucked Up subreddit.
You see, this dog, a Beagle, seemingly loves his owner so much that it can't bear to be away from him for too long when his owner is in the bathroom. Ordinarily, this isn't a problem; the owner lets his dog sit on the toilet seat in the bathroom when he's taking a shower.
You might be able to see where this is going. This is a story about a case of terrible diarrhea, a man forgetting to put the toilet seat down and a dog who was just so excited to sit on the toilet.
You'll want to read the whole hilarious story to see for yourself. Oh yeah, and this guy lives with his six sisters.
The redditor wrote,
My dog loves nothing more than sitting on the toilet seat when I'm taking the shower. The other day though I was having some stomach problems and the world was coming out of my ass. As I sat on the commode almost in tears praying for it to be over, I can hear my dog scratching to get in. I lean over to crack the door not only to let him in, but to let some of the nasty smell out. When I'm finish I reach for toilet paper and find there ain't none. With a tear in my eye I stand on up, feeling at least 10lbs lighter, and penguin walk across the room to grab some. Next thing I hear is my dumb dog leaping into the toilet and falling down the bowl. Everything goes slow motion. My Beagle cross is covered in my feces, he's freaking out 'cause he done gone wet and stinks. He leaps outta the commode and hightails it outta the room and runs to my sister's bedroom across the hall. Now y'all seen dogs when they get wet right? They be shaking and rubbing themselves all on the carpet and up the wall. I hear my sisters hollering and screaming 'cause my dog is spreading my muck all over their sheets, shaking it on their clothes and none of them wanna touch him 'cause he's filthy. They can only sit back and watch in horror as he ruins everything and tries to leap up at them. You see, my dog is a big old marshmallow and loves to jump up on people. I'm standing in the bathroom with my junk still out, still needing to wipe, and all the while thinking it might be worth locking the door and climbing out the window to freedom instead of facing my sisters wraths. TL;DR Beagle cross leaped into the toilet, got covered in my diarrhea, smeared it all around the house, my six sisters gave me hell.
Let's have a moment of silence for the poor poop-covered dog and whatever's left of the house and this guy after his sisters got to him.