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Yep, This Beer Is Made Using Bacteria From A Model's Vagina

by Eitan Levine
YouTube

No. NOOOO. Dudes, why? NOBODY WANTED THIS.

Full disclosure: You will not be able to eat for the rest of the week (maybe even most of April) after you read this article. So if you have any gala events with a dope smorgasbord coming up, you may want to tab this puppy and read it later.

Some effing startup called The Order of Yoni is brewing its own batch of beer using lactic acid bacteria scraped *gags* from the inside of some poor lady's vagina.

Just to reiterate, NOBODY WANTED THIS. There's an Indiegogo campaign that's been open for six days and has only raised 11 euros (about 12 dollars) of the goal of 150,000 euros (close to 170,000 dollars).

IndieGogo

So, what exactly is the selling point of the beer, aside from it being the best thing to secretly serve guests you hate, enabling you to have a flashy “HA! YOU'VE BEEN DRINKING VAGINA CULTURES ALL NIGHT!” reveal at the end of a fancy dinner party?

Let's let the most Eastern European sentences ever written, straight from the crowdfunding campaign, explain. The website reads,

The secret of the beer lies in her vagina. Using hi-tech of microbiology, we isolate, examine and prepare lactic acid bacteria from vagina of a unique woman. The bacteria, lactobacillus, transfers woman's features, allure, grace, glamour and her instincts into beers and other products, turning them into a dance with lovely angel.

Question: Remember a few months ago when that lady made bread out of her vagina mush? Why is this stuff happening? Is this a trend I'm just woefully unaware of? Because if it is, I do NOT get the appeal of this one.

JUST DRINK REGULAR BEER AND EAT REGULAR BREAD!

If for some reason you do think this is like a fun thing you want to take part in for whatever reason, for 10,000 euros (over 11,000 dollars) you can get a batch of beer made out of your girlfriend's scrapings instead of the scrapings of Czech model Alexandra Brendlova, whom the brewers are using for all the other beers.

So, like, that's an option if you want it.

I don't understand people.

Citations: Presenting vagina beer Yes its beer made using vaginas (Metro)