A date is a commitment, and commitments are meant to be upheld. (Historically, at least.) The distinction with a first date, however, is that it is a commitment with a veritable stranger. Sure, you've thumbed through highly filtered photos of them. Yes, you may have a mutual friend or two. Maybe you've even done a full Google of said stranger. (Yup, I'm not trying to get murdered either.) Still, sometimes, women and men leave bad dates early. My question: How bad does a date have to get to galvanize an early exit?
I've never ditched a first date early in all of my 29 years. I've left after one drink, but I've never come up with a crazy excuse to excuse myself fifteen minutes in. I think I would only ghost mid-date if I felt like I was in a dangerous situation; otherwise, I'd pretty much grin and bear it. But why? Simply to be "polite?" As a woman who has been told to be "polite" most of her life, I wondered if men, for whom "politeness" is less prioritized by society as a whole, feel differently about whether to ditch when they are on a truly terrible date. I took to Reddit to find out why some men leave bad dates early.
1. This Man Realized His Date Wasn't Over Her Ex... At All
Because her crush from college was sitting at the next table, on a date of his own. My date hadn't seen him since college and decided to pounce. In the middle of our date. At least the food I ordered for myself was good. Ate that and left, she didn't notice.
I completely support this man's decision to chew and screw (not the sexy kind). I do hope he left cash for a tip, but when your date ditches you for an ex at the restaurant you're having dinner at, it's time to say "night night."
2. This Man Didn't Like The Political Debate
She got way too politically involved and started talking down to me for my views.
OK, so I know that someone back in 1920 decided that politics were one of the "no fly zones" of first dates, but when Trump is your president, it's kind of hard not to say anything. I actually think we need to do more talking with people on the other side of the debate these days. But if a date is speaking down to you, it's your prerogative to peace out. Or, you could just check your news outlet of choice's notifications, say, "Oh sh*t, North Korea fired a missile, see ya!" and run right out of there. (Sorry, that got dark.)
3. This Man's Date Was Super Drunk
I bailed early on a tinder date a few years ago. We agreed to meet on at a bar for drinks on a Saturday night. She was already there when I arrived. Her tinder pictures weren't misleading and she was quite cute. Though, It quickly became apparent that she was already quite drunk--It turns out a few of her friends did bit of drinking at another bar prior to our date. Anyways, she proceeded to get quite handsy which was the point where I was both uncomfortable and felt it wouldn't be a good idea to stick around. I made up an excuse that a friend lost his apartment key and I had the spare/needed to let him in.
First off, excellent excuse. Write that one down, friends. Second, if the genders in this situation were reversed, I would be screaming at the woman "get out of there, who cares!" So props to this man for getting out of there, this date was behaving inappropriately. Also, can we stop getting hammered before dates? What is that?
4. This Man's Date Was Really Into Teeth?
Met at a cafe and about 10 minutes into the conversation asked if I had all of my original teeth. Then asked me to prove it by opening my mouth to let her inspect it. Yes, I they were all there, and no, there's nothing about them that would lead you to think they weren't. She was originally from Poland, if that makes a difference. It didn't to me.
I'm going to take your username into account and say "Good work, Lou." You got out of what seems like an extraordinarily weird fetish or phobia situation. If a date asked me this, I'd assume he was going to put me in the back of his trunk and extract all of my teeth, so this is a completely appropriate moment to ditch.
5. This Man Just Didn't Like The Date
Cuz it was a bad date
Unspecific and general, this guy is reclaiming the stereotype of men in every stoner buddy comedy every, as well as making his choice of username very clear.
6. This Man Had A Funny, Meta Response
'She was 5 minutes late. HUGE red flag. She doesn't respect me.' - redditors
LOL. I've been trolled by middle aged white men multiple times because an Elite Daily article upset them, and yet, they call me a snowflake. One of these things seems more easily triggered than the other, no? Either way, this reply made me very happy.
7. This Man Has Very Specific Wants And Needs
She didn't like Pink Floyd.
...or just a very good sense of humor. One of my worst dates shamed me for choosing David Bowie over John Lennon as a person I'd like to go on a road trip with — I still put up with him for the rest of the date. Again, I think men and women should do their best to make it through the first drink, because you committed to it. After that, bets are off.
Of course: If your date is drunk, behaving inappropriately, or being a super weirdo (hello, dentist in training!) then you have every right to take care of yourself and GTFO. If you do a lot of dating, you're bound to meet some weirdos. Here's hoping they don't try to inspect your molars.
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